Commander Squeaks' Outpost

I am Featured! Huzzah!

2010-12-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

I have been picked up by Lordkat of Lordkat.com
I will be posting all game related articles on there, but I will still use my blog for anything not related to games. I will also post updates for whenever I do write an article for Lordkat.com!

World of Warcraft and the New Social Dynamic

2010-12-07T03:11:00.000-08:00

World of Warcraft has over twelve million subscribers (“Subscriber Base Reaches 12 Million Worldwide” 1). The population of Azeroth is that of a small nation and it’s still receiving new immigrants daily, or are they refuges? Video games, after all, have always been thought of as a form of escapism, but how much escapism is in a game where the majority of game-play revolves around interacting with other people? These interactions aren’t always shallow either. People who first met on World of Warcraft have ended up forming lasting relationships and, in some cases, even marrying. While few people would think of games as the hobby of recluses and the socially inept anymore, how many people would be willing to believe that such strong relationships can be formed through a video game? Ignorance of the nuances of this trend could lead to turmoil between friends and family that could otherwise be avoided. That is why this growing form of social interaction can’t be ignored or defined by simple stereotypes any longer.

This idea, that video games can spark and even nurture relationships, is an unusual idea even to people who play video games. The reason for this is that different games support different types of communication. Games that don't require as much time and dedication to play have a distinctly different social experience than those that do, like World of Warcraft, Second Life, etc. The latter games tend to have several features that encourage or require social interaction between individuals (player-ran markets/economies, guilds/groups, and dungeons/levels that require the collaborated effort of several people to complete). People tend to have interactions with the same people as a result of these factors. This provides the groundwork for people to get to know each other and do things together on a regular basis. This makes the idea of friendship sound possible, but how can this relate to face to face interaction?

Dr. Mark Kline is a psychologist who writes articles for a website called The Escapist, a website devoted to the video game community as a whole. An individual recently sent an email asking why his parents seem to think it's impossible to have a deep, meaningful relationship when most of the interactions in said relationship take place over the internet or within a video game. In response, he said “I think you're absolutely right that people of your parents' generation (of whom am I probably one) have an instinctive discomfort with this. It seems inadequate and alien to us. How could you really know or trust someone who lives hundreds of miles away that you may have never met in person or in some cases never even laid eyes on? We are also constantly regaled with horror stories about pedophiles and murderers who find their victims through the internet. While these risks are real, and I certainly advise caution in developing online relationships with people you don't really know, I think they are highly over-emphasized by a media hungry for sensational lurid stories that attract a lot of eyeballs” (Kline 2). In another article, he stated that “Parents are naturally skeptical because they don't see how playing a game on the internet could really be "hanging out with your friends," but for growing numbers of kids, that's just what it is” (Kline 1). So, to a number of kids, meeting up with their friends after school in the city square of Stormwind (a major city in World of Warcraft), is no different than meeting up at the local Taco Bell.

Then why not meet up at the local Dell Taco? What is the appeal of going to a video game for social interaction? What makes it unique? Mr. Kline remarks to an email “This is a nice statement about the tremendous benefits the internet and gaming can offer to people who find themselves isolated socially or geographically. You can find people elsewhere on this planet with whom you might have something in common and you can build meaningful and significant relationships with some of them“ (Kline 2). First off, people who meet while playing these video games already have something in common, the video game. This promise of common ground is very appealing to those who find it hard to find people who share their hobbies. It can also be appealing for those who have a history of hardships in relationships or suffer from anxiety, providing for them a comfortable environment to ease back into the social setting. It also provides an activity for friends and family to take part in when there is a great distance between them.

It wouldn't be fair to only focus on the positive aspects of this growing social trend. One of the most glaring flaws is that these long-distance forms of communication lack the subtle nuances of expression and verbal tone present in face to face interactions. Many gamers communicate verbally through programs like Vent out of the necessity of quick responses in dungeons, thus allowing for nuances in tone to be heard. Some games allow a player's avatar to portray simple expressions, but this can't replicate the depth of expressions produced by the human face and body. Another complaint is that video games don't provide the variety of activities available in close-distance relationships. After all, there are only so many ways you can kill a computer program. MMORPGS have this covered. Many MMORPGS are built around universes that are very deep and complex. This results in many MMORPGS having holidays, as the World of Warcraft Lunar Festival (“Events Calender” 1), fairs, and other events to provide a variety of activities for friends to enjoy. A creative group can even create their own events if they so wish.

This trend will continue to gain momentum, but this isn't a bad thing. Indeed, this trend will provide several possibilities that were not as available previously, such as allowing our friends who live thousands mile away to stand right beside us as we battle goblins, gnolls, and gorgons. It would be a waste to look at this as intrinsically inferior to other social settings, and to avoid it outright. Instead it should be seen as a unique social setting, with unique advantages and disadvantages. We should take advantage of all the possibilities this new social avenue provides us. Now raiding the Icecrown Citadel (“World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King” 1), can stand alongside grabbing lunch at Denny's and going to see the Dodgers as something to be enjoyed by friends and family, strengthening relationships and sparking new friendships.

Works Cited

n.p. “World of Warcraft Subscriber Base Reaches 12 Million Worldwide” http://us.blizzard.com/en-us/company/press/pressreleases.html?101007. Blizzard, Oct 7, 2010. Web.

Kline, Mark. “Ask Dr. Mark #2”. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/7747-Ask-Dr-Mark-2.2 . Escapist Magazine, 1 Jul 2010. Web.

Kline, Mark “Ask Dr. Mark #8”. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8147-Ask-Dr-Mark-8 . Escapist Magazine. 23 September 2010. Web.

n.p. “World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King”. http://www.wowwiki.com/World_of_Warcraft:_Wrath_of_the_Lich_King. WowWiki, n. d. Web.

n.p. “Events Calender”. http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/events/calendar/. World of Warcraft. n.d.

Cigarette Smoking and Mental Illness: A Casual Relationship?

2010-12-07T03:01:00.001-08:00

Issue: Is the evidence sufficient to conclude that there is a casual relationship between cigarette smoking and the onset of mental illness symptoms?

Research: Forty-one percent of individuals with a current mental disorder are smokers, as compared to the 22 percent of people who have never been diagnosed with a mental disorder (Lasser 2000). People with a mental illness are more likely to be heavy smokers, consuming a pack of cigarettes per day or more (Lasser 2000). People who have been diagnosed with multiple mental disorders have higher rates of smoking and smoke more heavily than people with fewer mental disorders (Lasser 2000). Forty-four percent of all cigarettes smoked in the United States are consumed by people with one or more mental disorders (Lasser 2000). The lifetime prevalence of developing major depression is strongly linked to the number of cigarettes consumed (Breslau &others, 1993, 1998; Kendler, Neale, & others, 1993b). People who smoke a pack of cigarettes or more per day have a 50 percent chance of experiencing major depression, while nonsmokers have about a 17 percent chance. Three separate studies focusing on adolescents fond that cigarette smoking predicted the onset of depressive symptoms, rather than the other way around (Goodman & Capitman, 2000; Ohayon, 2007; Windle & Windle, 2001; Wu & Anthony, 1999). In a study of patients with bipolar disorder, the prevalence and severity of cigarette smoking predicted the severity of psychotic symptoms during manic episodes (Corvin & others, 2001). A positive association was found between smoking and the severity of symptoms experienced by people with anxiety disorders (McCabe & others, 2004). In a study of people with schizophrenia, 90 percent of the patients had started smoking before their illness began (Kelly & McCreadie, 1999). This suggests that in vulnerable people, smoking may precipitate a person's initial schizophrenic episode.

Application: If both premises were accepted, that cigarettes were smoked to alleviate the symptoms of mental illness, but they in turn exasperated the symptoms themselves, then we are presented with a vicious spiral. People with mental disorders are more likely to smoke to alleviate anxiety and to relax, but they are in fact worsening future trauma caused by the mental disorders, while also putting them at risk for other disorders. Is the evidence sufficient though? Most of the evidence simply shows that smoking cigarettes followed the onset of mental disorder or visa versa. They don't show how smoking alleviates the symptoms or how it exasperates them, the physiological effects of smoking. I'm afraid that claiming the this particular group of evidence shows a casual relationship between smoking and the onset of mental illness will be committing the post hoc fallacy.

Conclusion: I do not believe that the evidence provided is sufficient to prove a casual relationship, as most of the evidence simply shows a correlation between smoking and the onset of mental illness symptoms, but not how smoking relates to the onset of mental illness symptoms.

Bibliography:

Lasser, Karen; Boyd, J. Wesley; Woolhandler, Steffie; Himmelstein, David U.; McCormick, Danny; & Bor, David H. . (2000) Smoking and mental illness: A population-based prevalence study. Journal of the American Medical Association, 284, 2606-2610

Breslau, Naomi; Kilbey, M. Marlyne; & Andreski, Patricia (1993). Nicotine dependence and major depression: New evidence from a prospective investigation. Archives of General Psychiatry, 50, 31-35.

Kendler, Kenneth S.; Neale, Michael C.; MacLean, Charles J.; Heath, A.C.; Eaves, L. J., & Kessler, R.C. (1993). Smoking and major depression: A casual analysis. Archives of General Psychiatry, 50, 36-43.

Goodman, Elizabeth; & Capitman, John. (2000). Depressive symptoms and cigarette smoking among teens. Pediatric,106, 748 – 755.

Ohayon, Maurice M. (2007, April – June). Epidemiology of depression and its treatment in the general population. Journal of Psychiatry Research, 41(3-4), 207-213.

Windle, Michael; & Windle, Rebecca C. (2001). Depressive symptoms and cigarette smoking among middle adolescents: Prospective association and intrapersonal and interpersonal influences. Journals of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 69, 215 – 226.

Wu, Li-Tzy & Anthony, James C. (1999). Tobacco smoking and depressed mood in late childhood and early adolescence. American Journal of Public Health, 89, 1837-1840.

Corvin, Aiden; O'Mahony, Ed; O'Regan, Myra; Comerford, Claire; O'Connel; Craddock, Nick; & Gill, Michael. (2001). Cigarette smoking and psychotic symptom in bipolar affective disorder. British Journal of Psychiatry, 179, 35-38.

McCabe, Randi E. ; Chudzik, Susan M.; Antony, Martin M.; Young, Lisa; Swinson, Richard P.; & Zolvensky, Michael J. (2004). Smoking behaviors across disorders, Anxiety Disorders, 18, 7-18.

Kelly, Ciara; & McCreadie, Robin (1999). Smoking habits, current symptoms, and premorbids characteristics of schizophrenia patient in Nithsdale, Scotland. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 1751-1757.

Truman Show Review

2010-12-07T02:00:00.001-08:00

The Truman Show is not a comedy. It may seem like a comedy, with its jokes and its pratfalls, but is really a psychological thriller. This is a large scale and elaborate Skinner's Box, with our Truman as the pigeon. Everything has been structured, planned, and scheduled. From his job to his sex life, everything has been planned for Truman to follow. The worst part? Society, like a bunch of perverse voyeurs, tunes in day after day to see this man run around the maze that has been set for him. Now you may think that I'm engaging in hyperbole, but consider this. As a way to stop him from escaping, they've conditioned him to be so traumatized by the sight of open water that he can't even make his way across a small bridge. How did they do this? The director, a Mr. Christof, had his “father” die in a boating accident with young Truman in the same boat! We are dealing with some severely sadistic people, or so it seems.

The lead role of Truman (his first name is Truman), is played by Jim Carrey, a man who can quite easily snuggle himself in the upper lip of the uncanny valley. While not being uncomfortable to watch, there is something surreal about most of his performances that don't seem quite human. This works to his great advantage in this film. The awkward sterility and artificiality of the town is accentuated by Truman's not-quite-normal mannerisms. It's quite brilliant. It's really hard to criticize him for behaving in any way that might seem artificial since the whole world he inhabits is artificial. It could be equated to his reactionary development as he grew up in this city. He does manage to keep his manic energy under control, at least to the extent that he can manage. This is one of his more sublime performances.

A man who easily combats Mr. Carrey for the spotlight however is Ed Harris as the director, Mr. Christof. He plays the role as a subtle intellectual, a private and introverted individual. He ends up being something of an antithesis to Truman. While Mr. Christof is presented as a very private, introverted, and controlling individual, Truman is forced to develop into a much more extroverted individual, with no hopes of privacy and little to no control over his life. He pulls off the role of a puppet-master brilliantly, but manages the almost impossible task of being human too. We get a sense that he honestly cares, even loves Truman as a child of his. He represents the theme of the controlling parent, wishing to construct the perfect world for their child while robbing said child of all freedom. Spiting his curiosity and pushing him to accept the status-quo presented to him, but doing so all out of love. Misguided, obsessive, controlling love, but love. Every moment he's on screen you feel the tension brewing inside this man, and it's quite infectious. Ed Harris was nominated for an Academy Award and won a Golden Globe for his performance.

The plot of The Truman Show is a bit of a mixed bag. While the final scenes of Truman losing his wits are gripping, suspenseful, oddly comedic, and all that jazz, the 'coincidences' that spark his curiosity are contrived. These string of events, from a prop light falling from the sky, to the set falling apart, to the radio signal getting intercepted by Truman's car stereo, all come off as exceedingly forced. My suspension of disbelief was stretched severely thin when they presented these coincidences as freak accidents and not the meddling of some 'freedom fighter' or something. While it might be acceptable if these events happened over a series of several years, these seem to happen within weeks or even days of each other. Did their set technicians go on strike? Admittedly, it becomes harder and harder to hold onto these gripes as the film progresses. I'd lie though if I said I wasn't gripping my chair during the finale, a great show down of wits and determination.

The Truman Show is a classic that deserves watching. It's an 'art film' without being an acquired taste. It is an intellectual mainstream film, a crowning achievement in my opinion. Is it perfect? Not at all. I don't think, however, that perfection is the most important factor of a classic anyway. The Truman Show has the originality, thematic depth, and subtle performances that provides new discoveries upon each viewing. It also defies genre, and in that appeals to fans of several genres. You get a comedic film, a psychological 'art film', an action thriller, and few subtle hints of a romance all mixed into a wonderful casserole. You can shovel spoonful after spoonful, or accept the subtle nuances of flavor and still enjoy it either way.

Ugh, what to do what to do.

2010-11-29T03:24:00.000-08:00

I've recently realized that I haven't done anything outside of school for the past month or so and it's bothering the hell out of me! My creative drive is down the toilet and I am completely confused as to why. I need inspiration, a muse, something! I'm desperate. I think I'm going to try a few ideas on how to spark creativity. Perhaps sleep deprivation might allow my thoughts to wonder, but I don't know.

Tips for Making a Let's Play

2010-10-15T00:50:00.001-07:00

Tips for Making a Let's Play

Commentary is a very stylized medium and this essay is going to focus on a particular type of commentary, the video game walkthrough, or the Lets Play.

Production

When producing a Lets Play you must be conscious of your recording equipment. You may be incredibly funny and informative, but if there's a glare on the screen and constant pops in the audio recording people will be focusing on that instead.

I've noticed that quite a few people record footage from a camcorder. I must admit, I think that doing so should be completely avoided unless absolutely necessary, but I realize that sometimes it can't be helped.

Some tips for recording on a camcorder...

Know how lighting effects the video quality, set up lamps and adjust shutters so that the screen is lit up as equally as possible. Avoid lighting that will produce a glare on the screen.
Audio quality on most camcorders is very low. It would be best to avoid recording commentary audio until you're at your computer, where you can use a headset or condenser microphone instead.
Avoid background noise. Don't record in areas of high foot traffic. We don't care to hear what your dog has to say about the game.

The better option is to buy av cables and hook them up to the audio and video output and input ports of your camcorder and television screen. This will greatly increase the video and audio quality and avoid any background noise. With this method, however, you can't record the commentary until later.

Recording from your computer also provides its share of pitfalls, but they generally lie in the details. These can be harder for a novice to realize, but nonetheless can still be very distracting if present.

In regards to your screen capture program...

If you are using a program that allows you to adjust the size of your recording space, avoid recording the game window's border. This applies to emulators too.
Be sure that the recording program can record enough frames per second without bogging down your computer. Nobody wants to watch a video game at half speed. (A potential remedy for this is to speed up the footage in editing).
Make sure to remove any benchmarks from appearing on the footage. We don't care about how many frames per second you're recording and if we do it means something is wrong.
Make sure that your cursor does not appear in the recording. Most recording programs allow you to toggle whether or not it appears.

In regards to audio recording...

Few things are more annoying than pops and feedback. Adjust the placement of the microphone so that you can avoid both of these.
When recording game audio and commentary simultaneously, be sure to adjust the volume so that your voice is loud enough to not be droned out by the in-game audio.
Update your audio drivers so that the audio quality is as high as it can possibly be. This is important for both in game audio and commentary.

Final Notes

A good program for recording game footage is Fraps, which can be found here. http://www.fraps.com/buy.php

A good program to use for recording and editing audio is Audacity, which can be found here.http://audacity.sourceforge.net/

Sound levels can be adjusted by clicking the speaker icon at the bottom right of the Windows screen and going to the volume control window.

A lot of problems can be solved in editing, it's a good idea to watch all of your recorded footage before posting.

Commentary

The content of a person's commentary is solely up to the author. This is where the appeal lies, the commentator can choose whatever style of commentary he wishes: informative, comedic, or a mixture of the two. However there are a few things that should generally be avoided...

Avoid filler. Anecdotes can be both funny and informative, but try to avoid rambling about how your day was or some particular commenter that pissed you off if it doesn't apply to the game.
Try to avoid constant screaming and yelling. No matter how funny it might initially be, nonstop yelling will eventually strain our patience as much as it strains your vocal chords.
Randomness can be funny, but random does not, by itself, equal humor, remember that.
Avoid a commentary style that makes your natural voice come off as grating or abrasive. (If you have a high pitched, nasal, and sharp voice perhaps a dramatic delivery with constant yelling might not be the best style for you).
Avoid voice acting text boxes. This can be taken with a grain of salt, but unless you're a good actor I'd save it for a joke at the character's expense or something similar.
Don't record if you can barely stay awake. Tiredness and exhaustion will come across in your voice. This doesn't apply to sounding tired or exhausted as a stylistic choice.

Now I will go through a few general styles and their characteristics...

Informative

Focuses on aspects of the game that might not be obvious: secrets, strategies, bugs, and glitches.
Includes information about the game's development and release.
Makes comments about how the game, or certain events regarding the game were received and how you agree or disagree with a particular opinion or the general consensus.
Includes information about how certain events in the game are similar to events in other games. (Tropes)

Overly Dramatic

Manages a fine line between comically hammy and horrifically annoying by overreacting to certain events in the game.
Puts an emphasis on a certain personality traits (short-tempered, cowardly, snarky, etc.), to create a persona that's in many ways similar to a cartoon character or professional wrestler.
Can focus on glaring flaws, bad A.I, horrible voice acting, glitches, etc.
Has a sharp volume dynamic, shifting from loud to soft and from clear to whisper/growl.

Deadpan

Focuses on sharp, dry wit instead of comedic overreacting
Comments on mellow-drama, hammy/bad voice acting, idiotic game play aspects
Makes witty jokes toward the fan base, other characters, or other individuals surrounding the game.
Generally makes heavy use of sarcasm.

Of course these archetypes are simply some of the several available and you can mix and match different characteristics for different situations or to create a wholly unique persona.

Final Notes

Generally speaking, developing a persona that's close to your own personality is the best option as it will be the most natural for you. You might not need to develop a persona at all, but you will probably have to exaggerate your personality somewhat.

Scripting or Improvisation?

This is the place where innate talent seems to be the most relevant. Choosing whether to use scripting or improvisation depends on a few factors...

Are you the type to makes jokes without thinking or is your humor very methodical?
In general, are you spontaneous or plan oriented?
Do you stumble over your words or can you speak with clear diction most of the time?
Are you the type who frequently runs out of things to say or can you recall information relevant to a conversation without missing a beat?
Do you prefer continuity over control or visa-versa?

Both scripting and improvisation have their advantages..

Improvisation

More reliant on reacting to the content at hand than methodical comments
Allows for train of thought commentary, which may produce a funny off-hand comment
It's easier to sound natural due to the fact that you're in the moment

Scripting

Allows for running gags, motifs, and themes better than improvisation
Since recording footage and recording commentary happens separately it allows the commentator to do multiple takes of a joke.
Easier to edit because footage and commentary is separate.

Final Notes

While it's uncommon, some commentators choose a combination of scripting and improvisation. They might outline a general theme for their jokes, make note of how to react to a certain event, or dub over jokes and lines that were done improperly or weren't funny.

Final Statements

I sincerely hope that this helps all aspiring commentators to make the most informative and funny videos that they can. Lets Plays have something of a stigma as generally being easy, poor quality, and unfunny. I hope that overtime, this changes. The only way that this will change though is if the bar is raised and the status-quo is excellence.

If anyone would like for me to comment on their Lets Play, or talk to me further about Lets Plays, feel free to send me an PM on my Youtube account (http://www.youtube.com/deathcomesx). I will always be more than happy to give my advice. Of course, if you want to comment on this essay you can send me a PM too, I would love to know what you thought.

Special Thanks to:

Copper Chocobo

Pitiful Child Part 2 (I Needed a Shave)

2010-10-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

“I needed a shave, a haircut, a breath mint, and a bath,” I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair, feeling the slickness of my oily mop. I turned on the sink and gave my face a few splashes of pristine gas station water, straightening my hair with my fingers and parting it to the right. Looking back in the mirror I gave myself a look of bemusement; I didn’t look like the Unabomber, but it wouldn’t be hard for me to frighten little children. After finishing up with the rest of my bathroom activities I headed out. I walked up to the attendant. “Is there a pay phone near here?” “I don’t know, there might be a one few streets down that way,” he pointed to his right. “Thanks.” I exited, going around the corner and picking up my coffee, my nectar of life for this little adventure.

As I headed down the street my mind was free to introspect. Something tells me I shouldn’t be taking this in stride. Something tells me I should be losing my fucking mind. Something tells me I’m out of shape. I sat down on a bench to catch my breath, casually waving a bus on by as it drove past the stop. Not ten seconds after I did, a man in a business suit comes scrambling past me, his hand frantically waving at the bus as it turns the corner. I guess today isn’t my day to be a saint. I looked down at my coffee, my source of power. As I drink from it I can’t help but raise my cheeks into a smile. God, I love this stuff. I reached for my wallet, pulling it from my pocket as I began to thumb through it once again. Perhaps there was something else to help me out. I had a five, three quarters, and a nickel. I guess that’s something.

Pitiful Child

2010-10-01T17:02:00.001-07:00

"Credit or debit?” “Huh?” My eyes came into focus on a twenty-something year old: crew cut, slight features, tenor voice. “Debit or credit...” It was obvious that my expression caused him some concern. “Are you alright man?” I nodded, reaching into my pocket, blindly searching for something, anything. I grabbed a hold of leather, sighing with relief as I pulled it from my pocket. His eyes lit up with amusement. I looked at the contents of my hand..A collar. As I shoved the collar back in my pocket I could see him shaking his head, a smile on his lips. I searched my other pocket, glimpsing at what I had in my grasp. “Yes, that's a wallet.” I looked up the attendant, who had taken the moment to recheck my merchandise. “Cheeky bastard.” I thought, opening up the wallet to find a credit card, tossing it on the counter. Once my attention was taken away from the attendant I finally managed to grasp the situation, I had no idea where the fuck I was. What was I even buying? I looked: a pack of gum, a cup of coffee, and a protein bar.

I didn't have a headache, I checked my breath, it smelled like two days without toothpaste, but apart from that nothing in particular. “There you go, I bagged it for you.” I grabbed the bag, almost leaving before reaching back and taking my wallet. As I exited, I quickly took the corner, leaning against the wall. I looked toward the nearby street, nope, no idea where I was. I began searching my wallet as the attendant turned the corner, looking at me with a cup of coffee in his hand. “Yes?” He held out the coffee “You forgot this.” I grabbed the coffee, forcing a slight smile to thank him. As he began to turn I almost began to ask him where I was, but I held my tongue. He might know me, I'd rather not let anyone know that I seem to have lost a few of my marbles, at least not until I know for a fact that I'm fucked. I took a sip from the coffee: black, no cream whatsoever, and I liked it. Useless tidbit of information for me, but it woke me up enough to get me to check my wallet. I rummaged through the various cards, business cards, debit cards, coupons for dog food....finally I came across a little blue note, crumpled and shoved behind the last card in my wallet. I flattened it on the wall and looked at it.

“'555-2319, call if lost.” I slumped back against the wall, my head laying against the concrete as I sighed. This is good, this is very good. Do I even have a cellphone? I patted my pockets. Nope. I grabbed my protein bar, opening it up and taking a chunk out of it: peanut butter, delicious. I took a few minutes to finish off the bar, tossing the wrapper at a nearby trashcan. “What do I need to do..” I mumbled out loud. I had to find a phone, obviously, but first I want to make sure that I didn't look like Allen Moore on a good day, so I went back inside the gas station. “Bathroom?” I asked. “Next to the beer.” I went to the restroom and looked in the mirror.

Logos and Pathos

2010-08-07T01:54:00.000-07:00

This might be a minor point, but a common aspect about Shakespeare that I hear is that the situations presented aren't complex, that it is simply the language of the time that comes across as complex. The situations are rather rudimentary and easy to pick up. While this might be true, I don't think it is for lack of complexity.

Literature has three words that are well known, pathos, logos, and ethos. Logos is the logic, Pathos the emotion. Yet, some people seem to consider Pathos to be of lesser importance in the grand scheme of things. From essays to plays the ability to engage ones emotions seems to take a back seat to the works of high intellectual prowess, why is that?

I think the answer is simple, people put more trust, or would like to, put more trust into their brain and logic than their heart and emotions. Emotions are feeble, fickle things, easily manipulated and controlled, but one's mind is a stalwart fortress unable to be penetrated by such cheap tactics, right?

Now, this idea tends to be specific to the 'intellectuals', those of higher intelligence who think such pleas to their hearts to be beneath the coaxing of their minds. Emotions simply get in the way of clear thinking and reasoning, after all. Yet, I think this is a very detrimental mindset to have, and I shall show why using Shakespeare.

Shakespeare, The Bard, is well known as the grandmaster of drama, the greatest mind to ever produce a script. However, if you look at most of his plays, they are actually deceivingly simple. Take Hamlet, for example. The plot is simple, Hamlet sees the ghost of his father, we know that it isn't just his imagination because his friends see the ghost before him. The ghost tells Hamlet that Hamlet's uncle, the new king and husband to his mother, murdered him and that he must avenge him. Why must he avenge him, no reason given. Via confession we learn that Hamlet's uncle, Claudius is absolutely guilty, Hamlet delays killing him due to over thinking the scenario.

If one were to look at a simple plot analysis they could be confused as to why this seemingly basic plot has become one of the most famous and performed plays of all time. The reason? Pathos. Shakespeare was not only the master of the word, but the master of emotions. He knew how to produce humans. Not to say that all of his plays were photo-realistic, nay, most of them were not, but the characters developed like real people, they faced the same turmoil of conscience that we all do. They appealed to our humanity, whether villain or hero, because they indeed had a conscience and had a heart.

Another deception is the idea that it's harder to touch the mind than to touch the heart. I think this not to be completely true. While yes, it is relatively easy to yank a sensation of fear, of joy, or of sorrow from an audience, it's indeed much harder to penetrate the simplicity of such emotions and instead strike people to their core. To make them question themselves and their morals, not because the evidence was objectively sound, but because it introduced a perspective previously unknown to someone. It took them out of their own sees and watched an event, possibly similar to one they encountered, taken in a direction far different than how they would have intended, yet, they cannot disagree with it completely, they see the point.

I think the misconception lies in the idea that emotions are fleeting. While the emotions everyone is aware about might be so, there is also the core of one's being, the true heart, their morals, their dogma, and this is shaped through experiencing events that they cannot ignore and that they cannot help, but have affect them. This is what shapes one's inclinations, one's habits, and one's lifestyle choices. If you really boil down to it, very few of these are objectively decided, but instead ruled by the one's heart, the sooner we learn this the sooner we might see the severe magnitude of pathos.

My Sour Taste for Political and Current Event Oriented Radio and Television

2010-07-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

Why do I border on having absolute scorn for most political radio, political television, newspapers: CBS, NBC, Fox, KFI? Why do I think that some border on National Enquirer levels of emotional exploitation have a similar lack of shame? Why, even if I agree with the some of the opinions of commentators such as O'Reilly, Beck, and Handel do I sometimes have to shut off the radio out of pure disgust? More importantly, why do I not think that their behavior and conduct is all their fault?

I think we both know who the figureheads of most popular political and current event talk shows, television or otherwise, are. The ones with the most passionate tempers, loudest voices, but with strong research toward their side arguments, or the other side, if to only find a way to debunk it, does this sound familiar? Republicans? Democrats? MSNBC? Fox? Now mind you, I can burn as hot as anyone when something I believe in is mocked or knocked off its throne, and it takes most of my self-control to not chew that poor bastard a new asshole. I dislike that part of me though, I try my hardest to always keep at least some semblance of civility and open-mindedness. This, however, doesn't seem to be the case with these commentators, but I also don't believe it is wholly their fault.

These men, in at least one aspect or another, are entertainers. Their livelihood is dependant on how long they can keep your attention and generally the best way to do that is to entertain you, this is true for all the arts. I don't think any of these men are idiots, I'm willing to think that all of these commentators are intelligent, but they also know what their demographic likes to hear. These men don't become immensely popular because of some commercial conspiracy, they live and die by the ratings, by popularity. Now the reason why I don't believe that it is because of the logic and empirical data behind their argument is because there is a running motif with all popular commentators, my statement in the last paragraph. The reason they are popular is because their temper, passion, and lack of civility when the stakes are raised is what people want!

I'll let that simmer with you while I consider the underlying factors of this truth.

Kingdom of Cardboard

2010-06-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

My frequent trips to Los Angeles, Venice in particular, has revealed to me the severity of the homeless population in the area. From the moment you leave Union Station, perhaps even before, you are bound to spot the decrepit, ill-attired folk who carry their life around in an armada of suitcases, a rusted, squealing cart, or simply in their pockets. Like broken machines they lay hunched over themselves, staring blankly into their own soles. They may mumble, beg, or say nothing at all, but to most they say only two words "Help me".

I cannot, in all honesty, provide a cure for their financial situation, and many already dedicate their lives to nourishing their bodies, but I do believe that much can be done.

My first plea is simple, talk to one of them. You may think that many of them mumble to themselves due to a mental disease. However, I believe that many might do it simply out of loneliness, when is the last time you spoke to a homeless person or saw them conversing with others? They retreat into their own minds because this reality provides them nothing except the most meager means of survival. My demand does not require that you are resourceful in anything except friendliness and willingness. Show them that society hasn't completely forgotten about them.

A second demand would be to perhaps motivate them to engage their minds, even in the simplest of senses. An inactive, lethargic mind is nothing, but a decaying corpse of an organ. Find a way to engage them, discuss with them. You might think that they have nothing to say about the world that would interest you, but I, myself, have been proven wrong by even more modest sources.

A third and final request, learn why they are here, learn their story, their reason for being in such a situation. I can almost guaranteed you that, if nothing else, you'll be provided with a deep insight into a spectrum of life that you had probably never even conceived of, let alone experienced.

What is to come of one who agrees to such demands. I do not know. What is the use of doing any of this? I cannot say for certain. Why should I waste my time? To learn, to teach, and to grow. Let their story and their life instill you with a greater appreciation for your own. Engage their mind so that your own mind might be engaged. Learn about them, so that you might learn about yourself. Give them hope, so that you yourself might learn to allow hope to come from the most meager of origins.

Tales from the Sapling (Part 4)

2010-06-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

By the luck of the wind I had managed to guide myself into more open terrain. My peers seemed rather content nestled in their own little circle of fists, feet, and puke. I fell back into the nearest open stool. As my rump sunk into the heavenly cushion, my eyes dropped down to my feet, per habit. Apparently I had stepped in a puddle of puke without realizing it. "Hope my employer doesn't ask for his boots back". I must have laughed because I soon heard a slight, tenor voice "Never knew a sober man to laugh at puke on his boots." I froze, my face falling flat as I heard an orchestra of laughter building at the remark. I had happened across another group, and, if they were anything like my friends, I was about to be a few teeth shorter before the hour was out.

Tales from the Sapling (Part 3)

2010-06-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

"Oh look! It's the new guy!" came bellowing out from the rear of the tavern. "Which one?" followed. "There's only one you.." I never had an ear for small talk to be truthful, so it was probably just habit that I tuned out what he said after that. I had to focus on a much more pressing matter, navigating my way around a pen full of drunks. Easy in thought difficult in execution. Each foot, each sway of the torso, each blink had to be perfectly timed to avoid having someone's fist mistake you for another drunk.

Tales from the Sapling (Part 2)

2010-06-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

If it were my choice I'd be back in my home, buried comfortably in my own pillow, but the company decided to locate me an hours travel away and I'd rather sleep with the drunk than torture myself with another mile, however enticing the destination. My eyes had decided to carefully watch my feet, lest they try to run away without me, so I was already a few steps inside before I even began to notice my surroundings. As I looked up any hope of relaxation was swept way by the man tumbling ass over elbow in front of my feet. I had stepped into a wooden cage. A cage holding not beasts, but something far worse. Creatures so aggressive, so obnoxious, so hopelessly mundane that even a sage would have his patience torn asunder by their ways, my fellow workers.

Tales from the Sapling (Part 1)

2010-06-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

"Tough day today sapling?", said a man slouched by the tavern door. He reeked of spirits and his near toothless maw didn't do him any favors as he belted out his guffaws. I did not give the drunk the honor of a reaction, for his words, though not elegantly spoken, were true. My entire body felt weighed down with the pressure of my own sweat stained across my skin, and my stench was likely not much better than that of the drunk. Despite my hatred of manual labor I had taken up a job at the nearby logging company, my belly wouldn't be filled by my scrolls and books. "Bloody slave drivers!", I thought, my bitterness provoked by the drunk. "I have twice the mind of any of them and they get to make the decisions?!". My arguments though, however valid, were pointless. They had the gold, they had the seniority, and I was the sapling.

An Rational Idealist

2010-06-09T18:10:00.000-07:00

Quite simply is a person who uses rational means to obtain fantastic hopes. Now you know.

Now Rocking With the Man On the Silver Mountain

2010-05-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

Iron Man 2 Movie Review

2010-05-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Has there been a better casting choice than deciding to cast Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man? To be fair, I've never read much into the Iron Man series so I wouldn't be able to vouch for how closely he resembles the Tony Stark of that medium, but just as Heath Ledger took the Joker and made him his own, Mr. Downey seems to have masterfully tailored the character to fit his acting strengths like a form-fitting suit, yet still seems to appease to the comic book fan base, which, like all nerd fan bases, can be very volatile.

Lets get right down to it, Iron Man 2 is fun, it's bright, it's flashy, it's clever, and it's action packed. This is the archetypal superhero movie refined to a near flawless degree. It isn't Dark Knight, that's certain, but it isn't trying to be. It doesn't strive for the in depth social commentaries, the visceral imagery, or the outright horrifying dilemmas that made the Dark Knight great. It, instead, is focused on two things, coaxing you to get on the roller coaster with its flashy presentation, and then making sure you have a damn good time while riding with its character development, clever dialogue, and strong conflict.

Said conflict is engaged by two men, Ivan Vanko and Justin Hammer. Both of whom seem to attack Tony from two separate fronts. Hammer attempts to overthrow Tony's technological empire by upstaging him at the Stark Expo replicating and improving on Stark's Iron Man design; Ivan attempts to take a far more direct approach and simply tries to throw as much firepower and weaponized units, including himself, at Tony in an attempt to tear him limb from limb. It's actually somewhat brilliant in the fact that Tony needs his resources to be Iron Man, since someone has to pay for all his fancy gadgets, and of course Tony can't run his company if he's dead.

The ensemble cast is very strong, Mickey Rourke gives a gorgeous performance as the filthy, brutish, yet ultimately brilliant Ivan Vanko. While Gwyneth Paltrow's character isn't as involved, she still does a good job of not vanishing into the background despite her somewhat minor role. Scarlett Johansson as the vicious, yet gorgeous and sophisticated Natalie Rushman is a great example of how to do sexy right. To be frank the only actor I seemed to have a problem with is Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer. I can't point out any tangible flaws, but something about his performance came off as very awkward and to be frank, annoying. I think they showed one too many scenes of him trying desperately to catch ahold of the spotlight after Tony Stark stole it from him, which had the effect of making him seem more like an annoying pest instead of a diabolical serpent like Obadiah Stane was in the original.

Like Hammer, the final battle also seemed to have fought desperately for all the screen time it managed to obtain. To say it felt rush would be a understatement. (Spoiler) While it begins strong with multiple drones, and a hacked War Machine, chasing Stark throughout the Stark Expo, allowing for many scenes of wanton and glorious destruction, the final confrontation with Ivan couldn't have lasted more than two minutes. If I might speak freely, I don't think they should have even bothered to bring Ivan because he was outright pitiful and his defeat ultimately deflated him as a villain and made him seem much weaker than originally portrayed. I think the film would have ended much stronger if they simply had him vanish from site, which could have been accomplished with cutting his final appearance and shooting maybe a single new scene to reveal the characters' recognition of his disappearance. I wouldn't be lying if I said I didn't feel a bit robbed by the climax.(End of Spoiler)

Overall, while the film did stumble now and again (I would also like to state that I think Mr. Rhodes acted a bit prematurely when he grabbed the suit and began wailing on Mr. Stark), it was overall a strong film and an enjoyable one at that. It managed to surpass the mindless popcorn flick with its clever dialogue and strong character development, but still held onto the crisp, bright, and action packed atmosphere of any summer blockbuster.

Dr. Boll Approves

Grade Sheet for Iron Man 2

Presentation = A

Ensemble Performance = B+

Plot = B+

Narrative Flow = B-

Climax = C

Overall Grade = B

Addition to my ingredients post

2010-05-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of how you could factor in the uniqueness of each individual and how this will affect how they portray a character without destroying the analogy or mutating it into something infeasible. While each character may have a distinct list of ingredients, each actor uses ingredients that they have grown and cared for in the soil that is their being. How a plant is fed and under what conditions it is grown can affect many factors of said ingredient, be it taste, texture, ect, ect. As such, when an actor uses the ingredients from his own garden it has his own distinct signature.

An Excerpt From a Conversation about Creating a Character

2010-05-04T17:53:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from a conversation I had with a friend: "This might not be perfect, but I suppose you could deconstruct yourself into a series of ingredients, by researching all aspects of the character, his history, his occupation, his mannerisms, you can fill the recipe with the correct amounts of ingredients where you simply use water (cliche) for everything else, lacking in substance and common, instead of the ingredients which can be rare, unique, and more flavorful."

Where Have I Been?

2010-04-29T19:22:00.000-07:00

Holy Batista yelling at a small child (Indeed), this month has flown by fast. I do have a reason, actually plenty of reasons, for my lack of posts this month. I shall fill you all in as well as giving a few explanations to my lack of videos.

I have actually been taking a few steps toward my career as an actor, one vital step that I have taken is that I've actually looked into acting classes. One class that I decided to call was the Theater Group Studio in Los Angeles. There I met a very nice lady by the name of Lorinne Vozoff who actually instilled me with the personal confidence of me being in good hands if I did decide to follow through (and was also accepted), with this acting class. She, her daughter, and another compatriot teach the Stanislvaski Method that I have noted a few times as my key focus when it comes to acting technique. For those who might actually be interested here is the website of Theater Group Studio.

I've also been focusing on my career as a vocalist. I've been not doing much in terms of heavy duty training at this point, due to a lack of a teacher, but I have kept my voice up to par with various daily exercises. I'm still in the process of searching for a teacher who focuses on the classical style of vocal training. The reason being is that I have no faith whatsoever in the new style of 'pop' oriented singing, I despise the horrific physical stresses of 'belting', and I just don't think that pop singers sound as appealing as a properly trained classical vocalist.

I have also fulfilled one of my lifelong aspirations recently, at the same time, that I went to my interview for said acting class. I was able to workout at Muscle Beach California in Venice Beach. Though I am not actively focused on bodybuilding I have always respected and admired the classic stars of the sport, and you can't think of people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Franco Columbu,and Frank Zane without drawing focus onto Muscle Beach. For the price of 10 dollars I was able to be a slight exhibitionist for two hours, working out in the outdoor gym while also conversing with a bodybuilder who happened to be working out there. Another little note is that I had the chance to visit Venice Beach, which is quite an enjoyable experience if you ignore everything along the board walk that isn't facing toward the surf.

Finally, an explanation to my lack of videos. From a point five weeks prior to two weeks prior I was struck with an intense case of lethargy and couldn't bring myself to doing more than the basic cognitive functions as well as keeping up with my basic responsibilities. I was sleeping more than fifteen hours a day and barely did much more than eat and sleep. Luckily, my love managed to kick my ass into shape and get me to both, catch up with my school work, and have me back on a normal sleep schedule with daily activity that comprised of more than what I needed to do to survive. I have been quite busy for the last two week, but I am thinking of doing a few walkthroughs starting tomorrow, as well as some more voice over work. Another note is that I actually have managed to snag a voice acting job, non-pay of course, and plan to keep up with that responsibility as well as that to my fans who I plan to entertain in sometime soon!

To Portray a Taxi Driver You Must First Know How to Drive a Taxi! (Comment on a Known Adler System/Strasberg System "Method Acting" Cliche)

2010-03-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone whose an avid fan of film will know of the basic cliche surrounding "method actors" and followers of the Adler System. The cliche that involves a "method actor" literally performing the occupation or defining characteristic of the role in real life so that they may prepare for said role. An example would be Robert De Niro spending six or so months as a taxi driver to prepare himself for his role in the film The Taxi Driver, or Marlon Brando spending months in a hospital bed to prepare himself for the role of an injured war veteran. Generally, they take these steps so that they may feel and seem more comfortable at the role, as well as knowing the basics mannerisms and actions associated with said situations.

One might consider this a foolish, ultimately pointless, and insane way to properly prepare for a role, but in that I disagree. An actor has two forms of knowledge that they can pull from when they read a script and prepare for a role: their own personal experience, and experience that they learn from conversation or research. Without knowledge they are left to their own creativity and imagination. Generally speaking, one will find that personal experience is more reliable than the latter two in allowing one to know how to properly perform an action or group of actions surrounding an occupation, sport, or hobby, and as such will generally come across more effective in a performance. I would safely assume that many would agree that it is better to know personally how to operate a taxi cab, or maneuver around in a wheelchair, than it is to simply speak to someone in such a situation or worse, read about it. This is why the teachers generally have students perform activities that involve the topics they are discussing instead of simply relying only on research, it is more effective as a learning tool!

When an actor prepares in this manner, they become so used to the basic mannerisms involved with the occupation or action that it becomes second nature, allowing them to use that to not only shape the character in a more complete manner, but focus on other aspects of the performance that can't be prepared for in such a way.

Obviously, not all actors have the time, money, or resources to prepare in such a manner, I'm not saying that you cannot give an effective performance without these forms of preparation, but simply that they are reliably effective. A character's occupation helps shape his personality, it helps define him as a unique individual; also, it's hard to be believable in a role, such as a taxi driver if you seem like your having a hard time going about the basic operations of that occupation. Someone whose, supposedly spent years in a wheelchair, shouldn't have a difficult time operating the damn contraption once on screen or on stage. As they say, if you want to learn how to do something, go out and do it!

On a final note, these big name bastards generally make millions of dollars per role (at least now), so I think they should take such actions to prepare for a role if it means they can give their best damn performance. I think they can sacrifice a few months out of their comfort zone to acquire the knowledge and experience to shape a character. I have yet to see such effort go to waste and a lot of performances seem like they could have done quite a bit better if such methods of preparation were used.

Mother, Son by Jon "Moose" Tetrino

2010-03-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. It was how it worked.

Efficient like so many of the processes the people went through. Why waste the effort picking up the crop?

Why waste the crop that would inevitably spoil on the ground? This was the reasoning behind Son.

Mother stood guard. The fields were vast, hiding dangers both known and untold.

Many would see to it that Mother and Son were prevented from harvesting – for they would surely starve.

Mother often wondered who would be so cold as to present such a want, for isn’t all life sacred in its being?

“Mother?” Son asked, far from oblivious of Mother’s current passage into the same wonderment as before.

“Son, you should continue. We do not have the time to waste here. We must feed the family.”

“Sorry Mother.”

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. It was how it worked.

Son stopped again, and looked up at the Mother. “I just wanted to know... if all life is sacred, as you have taught... why do we harvest? Is the crop not as sacred as all other life?”

Mother looked down and sighed. “There is a place for all life. The wind plants the seeds in the soil the ground prepared. The rain grows the crops we then eat. Eventually we die, and the family use us to continue, turning us into soil to continue the crops. Now, keep working, your sacks are almost full.”

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. People screamed in terror. It was how it worked.

Son, interested more by this way of thinking, could not help himself. While working, he was distracted. Where was his place in this chain of life? To work until death, then be turned into more work for someone else? “Is work all there is?” he muttered under his breath.

Mother heard him, as she always did, and scorned. The bond they had was unbreakable to a fault, everything he said or even thought she heard.

Son forgot this often. It was a mark of the family – unity without question, all for the good of the Queen.
The sickle went down, and cut the stems.

The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. People screamed in terror. Liquid melted bulkheads. It was how it worked.

Ah yes the Queen. Commander of all the family, as large as it is. Without her, things would grind to a halt. The village wouldn’t be built, the Sons wouldn’t work, the Mothers wouldn’t protect. It would be anarchy A long painful death for the family.

Son often envied her position, but never dared to speak about it.

Others, to, had felt the same, but short of wonder nobody would attempt to usurp the Queen.

Failure would bring death, success would bring upheaval. Neither helped the family, both caused unnecessary loss.

There was no need to cause revolution when the system they had was so successful.

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. People screamed in terror. Liquid melted bulkheads. Tendrils collected the liquid. It was how it worked.

Son was still young – a new addition, a new sheep in the flock.

There were many things he did not understand, and that was why Mother was there.

Mother would answer his questions, and protect him until he could protect himself.

In the field, something stirred.

A wolf, as big as the Son himself, came out of hiding and ran towards him.

Son did not notice the threat, concentrating as he was on the crop.

Mother, on the other hand, caught it at the last moment.

Jumping in the path of the Wolf, there was little struggle.

Mother was a capable fighter, having been a protector for many ages past.

A strike from her sword and a shot from her bow was enough to send the wolf fleeing.

Son was unsure if the wolf would return, but Mother seemed content with the results of her work.

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. People screamed in terror. Liquid melted bulkheads. Tendrils collected the liquid. A ship arrived. A volley was fired. The ship was damaged. The ship warped away. It was how it worked.

The sun began to set. The day had been long, and Son had to finish his work.

He had harvested many fields today, but Mother would not be pleased if he did not fill his sacks for return to the village. A few more minutes and he would be done.

The sickle went down, and cut the stems. The crop fell to the sack. An explosion occurred. People screamed in terror. Liquid melted bulkheads. Tendrils collected the liquid. A ship arrived. A volley was fired. The ship was damaged. The ship warped away. The habitat module was breaking apart. People were dying. It was how it worked.

Finally, it was time. Mother spoke softly to her Son. “Come, you did well, it is time to offer your work to the village.”

Son was happy. He had managed to finish his work in time to return.

It would be a long journey back through the fields to the village, but he didn’t mind. Mother was always there for him, and with her by his side he felt as safe as he could be.

Tonight he sees the queen, and offers his harvest.

One more cut and he was done, and together, they began their journey home.

The Mother Drone and her Son aligned to the Hive. After flying through the debris of their toils, they warped, leaving the empty husk of the structures behind them. It was how it worked.

(This is a short story written by a good friend of mine, if you wish to contact him he told me to place his MSN messenger here ogf@hotmail.co.uk , tell me or him if you wish to see more of his work in the future!)

The Difference Between Acting and Adam Sandler

2010-03-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Acting has been twisted, devolved, and mangled into the form you see today in theaters. There are rare occasions of great acting, presented by actors with a true understanding of the emotional, physical, and logical traits presented in every performance. Then you get hacks, hacks who wouldn't know how to develop a character if they were given a character creation screen for each of their performances. I might strike a harsh note with some, but I don't think half of the modern actors that grace the screen are true actors, they're performers, comedians, theatrical individuals. I'd safely claim that half of the actors who have been within a movie release within the last year are not competent actors.

Lets start with a singular subject, Adam Sandler. Why do I say Adam Sandler isn't an actor? He never, ever, ever, ever does anything beside behave as himself (sometimes slightly exaggerated) being directed by a script, not acting. Case and point: Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Anger Management, and Billy Madison are all the same character! If you took out the story, plot, and lines from all of the movies and were simply left with Adam's performance there would be no discernible difference between the characters. They are all relatively short tempered, childish, somewhat clever, outgoing, and flirty, but not in an disrespectful manner (romantic interests only), and a tad awkward. The only time he's changed his character type is for Waterboy, and Little Nicky, and even those two characters are more or less the same. Sure he has more subdued, roles in movies like 50 First Dates and Click, but those simply seem like him being him in a normal setting.

Lets pick some opposition from a true actor, Robert Di Niro. This man is a true actor, he develops a character for each particular role, making the character complete with their own nuances: speaking manner, behavioral ticks, and reactions to external stimuli. They feel, look, and behave like complete people, yet each and every one of them is distinctly different from one another. Case and point (again): Leonard Love (Awakenings) and Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver). We'll start with Leonard: A child from the mid 1900's who turns catatonic before eventually be "awoken" by Malcolm Sayer (Robin Williams) in 1969. Both of the noted actors play parts that seem severely different from how they behave in real life, from Robin William's usual eccentrically outgoing and comedic behavior being toned down to a quiet, conservative, and almost reclusive person. Niro's character is childish, curious, chip, and more than a bit naive, obviously different from the behavior of Niro in real life. Even more important is that both of these characters are complete and believable, that's because, despite them being characters different from the person portraying them, they still pull upon the actor's rich emotional and intellectual repertoire, adding truth instead of cliche. Adam's character in both the The Waterboy and Little Nicky seem stilted, unbelievable, and hard to swallow.

In the past this issue was relatively minor, there were actors like Sandler, but they were not nearly as prominent as they are now. It seems that eye-candy and memorable mechanisms (Sandler is eternally guilty for this), take priority over actual acting.

I will clarify one point, just because I chose a comedic actor for the negative aspect doesn't mean I do not think that comedy can't also contain full and interesting characters. There are actors: Jerry Lewis, Tim Curry, and Robin Williams who can all play the bombastic comedic role that Adam strives for while still supplying a complete, identifiable, and entertaining character. It isn't impossible, but people like Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Owen Wilson, and Bernie Mac cannot pull it off without simply devolving acting into a stand up act, complete with repeated mechanisms, mannerisms, and trademarks.

Love, a Chorus of Whispers!

2010-03-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

Love, a chorus of whispers
Bit parts, built upon each other
Until it reaches a crescendo

Boom, headshot!

2010-03-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

I've taken yet another step toward being able to claim I'm an actor! I want to thank my Media Arts teacher for taking time out to helping me, not only by taking the photographs herself, but by providing very helpful posing tips. Oh, if you didn't know before, I want to be an actor. I don't think I've posted that here before..

I Have a Recommendation

2010-03-02T15:42:00.000-08:00

Take this test Political Compass and use it as a tool of self-discovery or self-reaffirmation.

What an Actor is in One Sentence

2010-02-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

An actor is a person who can create a truthful, whole, communicative, and interesting character using their tools of imagination, knowledge, creativity, and experience.

Copy of my Scholarship Application Letter

2010-02-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

It was my first theater attendance of a 2009 production of Sweeney Todd. Before then, I had always thought of the arts as a mystical realm, restricted to all but those gifted with near inhuman innate talent. From that point forward, however, the realm of the arts seemed accessible (it had always been desirable), to me.

After attending a university, I plan to start my career in local performing arts centers, building up my resume and skill, until I can be accepted for more prestigious performances. One of my lifelong goals is to be cast as the voice of a major Disney character. Robby Benson, the beast from Beauty and the Beast, and Keith David, Doctor Facilier from The Princess and the Frog, are some of the greatest examples of how a great vocal performance can cause a production to go from good to exemplary. Other roles I would love to be cast as: Sweeney Todd from Sweeney Todd, Leo Bloom from The Producers, and The Phantom from The Phantom of the Opera.

My reasons for pursuing the arts as a career are simple. I feel that my gift is the ability to enrich people’s lives through my voice, body, and words. My passion and respect for the arts will never be quenched, no matter what obstacles are placed in my way. I believe that my dedication and passion should allow me the opportunity to pursue further training, and eventually a career, in the arts.

Mass Effect 2 Review

2010-02-23T00:48:00.000-08:00

If you happen to be on my buddy list you'll notice that I've finished both Bioshock 2 and Mass Effect 2 within the span of a week and you bet your ass I have thoughts on both, but for now we'll start with the latter. Mass Effect 2, the sequel to the space epic from 2007 of a similar name, has been coined by a single word, streamlined, and while it's true, I would much rather focus on the other aspects that don't get enough attention.

You could consider this paragraph to be chock full of minor spoilers, but if you've spoken to anyone whose played this game for more than ten minutes you'll know everything I'm about to type. The game starts with the Normandy, which has basically been demoted clean-up as they patrol the universe looking for remaining Geth. This glorified form of retirement lasts for a while until, within the time frame of ten seconds: the Normandy detects an anomaly, a bizarre space ship lodged into a rock warps within a hundred yards of the ship, and the aforementioned ship splits the Normandy in half with the same amount of effort that we'd use to split string cheese. You then go about the demolished ship rescuing all you can from the surrounding destruction; this sounds familiar (Knights of the Old Republic 2), well okay, it's not a complete copy, but I think Bioware studied up on some of their old notes before making Mass Effect 2 (it doesn't help that both are sequels either). You precede to save just about everyone, including everyone's beloved paraplegic Joker. After that, you get blown from the ship and die due to a combination of asphyxiation and being torn up by a planet's atmosphere; cue Six Million Dollar man intro sequence!

The rest of the game is compromised of you forming a team to combat the new menace known as the Collectors. There's no real point in mentioning the main goal any further because it's literally a copy of the one from the original. Instead, we'll focus on the addition that caught my attention the most, the upgrade system. This skillfully deals with an issue that has been plaguing role playing games since their creation, item overload. Instead of being forced to sift through dozens of weapons to find the one you want, you are given a maximum of three to four guns for each category and you improve upon them. This solves an issue and presents an impressive way to emphasize each weapon's key qualities. Secondly, you are only allowed to change weapons at the beginning of each mission or at weapon lockers placed at key checkpoints within the mission, which is a blessing for us afflicted with ADD when it comes to our load-out.

The final aspect worth mentioning is one of the best uses of quick-time events I've yet to see. These events take the form of Renegade and Paragon choices that occur whenever the situation arises. Generally this comes into play with your party member's various loyalty missions and secondary missions. The Paragon option almost always boils down to you stopping your buddy from making an incredibly stupid decision, with the Renegade option usually allowing you to either take an unfair advantage against an enemy or slap someone into shape. Neither of these options are mandatory, but they can have a major impact on the game's continuity and story progression, luckily the game telegraphs when these events are going to occur and gives you over ten seconds to react.

Now of course, you are wondering why I'm not telling you if this game is good or not, that's because you already know this. You and I both know that you've read other reviews and probably played the original, so focusing on the big picture is a waste of time. What I want to do is tip those undecided into purchasing this title by presenting them the game's most glorious positive qualities, but I'm not going to simply flatter the game's developers either, so here is a negative aspect!

The game is far too easy in terms of combat. The only time you die is when you overstep your class's boundaries and go into territory you shouldn't be in. At no point in the game are you required to reload and stock up on stronger upgrades in order to beat a certain section. I personally didn't even go to any of the game's shops until well past the seventy-five percent mark. Secondly, the game generally auto saves before each battle so your only penalty for death is restarting that specific battle over again.What the game lacks in combat difficulty though it makes up in moral dilemmas, prepare yourself for some tough choices that will most likely affect the how the third installment pans out.

This game is all about decisions, decisions, decisions. You will spend more time dwelling over how to help your psychopathic biotic get over her mental scars than you ever will spend in a single battle, and that's a good thing. It presents a completely different style of gaming in a manner that's not threatening to most people and is generally accessible by everyone whose willing to give it a shot due to its sugary coating of streamlined combat, interface, and conversation options. Will you enjoy this game if you enjoy action? Yes. Will you enjoy this game if you enjoy story? Yes. Will you enjoy this game if you like flashing lights and pretty music? Oh fuck yes. Should you get this game? Must you really ask?

Socialism versus Self-Interest

2010-02-17T01:24:00.000-08:00

Though many might consider me making a mountain out of an anthill, I think that the story of Rapture (the setting of the video game Bioshock 2), provides great insight into the dangers, and possibilities of strong capitalism and socialism. If you're willing to suspend your disbelief and consider the ideals presented as those presented by true men and women, then there might be a strong lesson for you and me to learn.

Lets begin with Sofia Lamb, socialism.
To provide a basic summary of her belief system: The pursuits of one's own self-interest is the primary sin of humanity, to instead focus on the common good above all else is the pursuit of a true Utopian (the perfect being). Unity above all else leads to the betterment of society at the cost of personal freedom. Strong moral standards in opposition to human nature.

Now Andrew Ryan, capitalism and self-interest.
The pursuits of one's self-interest without the restrictions of morality and government lead to strides in science, art, and overall ingenuity, the forces behind a true utopia. Self-interest leads to an ambition to better one's self through the fields of art, science, or business, and this eventually leads to an overall increase in the quality of life for all. Moral standards are a hindrance, whose only purpose are to restrict such fields. He also does not believe in restrictions caused by government, religion, and totalitarianism.

Both promise to result in a utopia, a pinnacle of society, yet both provide stark contrasts to each other. One promotes a focus on the common good, while the other promotes an ambition to better one's self. One enforces strong moral restrictions while sacrificing freedom, yet the other provides freedom while excluding moral responsibility. Which is better?

The problem with both is that they oppose basic human nature, both cases. The first opposes basic human ambition to strive beyond others for the sake of pure competition or financial gain or recognition. The second opposes the viciousness of the human-spirit, who would be willing to dominate, repress, or destroy anything that impedes their attempts at success, the only thing stopping many being the restrictions of morality.

We see an example of the latter in Fontaine, a man who uses murder, manipulation, and over maliciousness to secure his own monetary gain. He even goes so far as to take the illegitimate child of Andrew Ryan himself and mentally condition it to eventually destroy Ryan and take control of Rapture. He manipulates the people through the guise of Atlas, rallying them under the facade of promoting the good of the common man, when his true intent is simply monetary gain and control. Without moral restrictions and laws, he is free to trod upon others for his own personal gain without being held to any sense of humanity.

An example of the latter would be Sofia Lamb herself, a person more than willing to destroy someone who she thinks would hinder the common good of the people. She believes that ambition and competition are a sin and that instead, complete unity without focus or care for one's own being is what leads to perfection. Self-identity by means of art, science, and business is evil and thus should not be allowed. Nationalism over individualism, community over self, unity over self-identity.

My own personal opinion? If forced to side with one I would side with Andrew Ryan. I believe that self-identity is something of great importance, we should be ambitious, competitive, and strive to better ourselves. Artistic and scientific exploration should not be restricted due to the mislead belief that we should never do anything that might demotivate our fellowman and make them feel like a lesser-being. In my mind, being beaten should fill a person with ambition to find a subject they are passionate and talented at (the two tend to go hand-in-hand if one is true with themselves), and strive to become the best in whatever definition of the word they use. While moral responsibility should be present, I do not think that they should be taken to the extremes, restricting freedom of speech and expression to prevent situations that might offend others. I do think that they should be in place so that no one can repress a person's human rights and ability to reach their goal (I oppose political correctness, affirmative action, the current state of American welfare, medicare, and social security, and do not believe in nationalizing any business, though some should be kept under certain standards and restrictions, such as the banking industry). I believe in a strong free-market with very limited government restrictions, and believe in art without moral restrictions (freedom of expression), and science with the restrictions of human rights ( I am against what I consider the casual destruction of human life: abortion except under certain circumstances, embryonic stem-cell research except under circumstances where the embryo would be destroyed otherwise, and the death-penalty except under circumstances of extreme human atrocity such as murder, torture, or rape). I believe in the freedom to purchase firearms, unless one is a convicted felon who would be considered a severe risk if allowed a weapon. I do not believe in double-standards (everyone should be judged based upon their skill, ambition, and talent, without bringing race, religious, sexual preference, or gender into consideration).

I DO NOT believe that every person has the ability to master any field they attempt. We are imbued with talents and motivations that allow us to strive in certain fields and fail in others, the best we can do is realize this and focus on those fields that we feel true passion for, instead of lying to ourselves and ultimately failing to focus on what is important to us.

I do believe that we should respect the creatures of this earth and as such not hunt them for simple sport or cause them severe unwarranted physical trauma, but I do not believe this means we should go to such extremes that would restrict the ability of a person to strive in such a market. I believe that a vegetarian or vegan who does not eat meat for moral reasons is simply a person who tries to imbue themselves with a false sense of moral high-ground because they believe that no animal should be used by a human for food, shelter, or scientific advancement. They ignore the fact that many of these creatures, without our aid and security, would have a much lesser chance of survival and reproduction and as such, we are more than likely increasing their quality of life under our care. I do believe certain restrictions should be placed upon farming and fishing as to not damage the ecosystem by severely limiting a food source or predator, instead focusing on the concept of equivalent exchange. An example being the lumber company that plants just as many trees as they harvest, or the farmer or hunter who waits for nature to increase the numbers of the game or size of their herd before slaughtering them for the resources they need. I also believe that following these standards would ultimately lead to benefit for society (since most animals that are fed proper nutrition and given a comfortable way of life tend to provide healthier products; also, wild game, whose nutrition focuses on wild edibles, tend to provide healthier meat and than farm-raised in exchange for lesser quantities).

I do not believe that the government needs to enforce morality, but instead promote it through their own individual actions. A politician should place themselves under strong moral standards (such as truthfulness, ambition, charity), which will in turn inspire others to follow suit. Anyone who, with or without their intention, is a person of strong societal influence is given the ability to change how society functions, if even on small levels.

Laws should be placed only to protect human rights and the free-market. Laws should not be placed for matters that do not involve these two. Incentives such as tax-cuts, benefits, and popularity are perfectly reasonable manners to influence corporations to have a high moral standard. A company, however, should not be forced to take actions they deem detrimental to their prosperity if the action does not impede on human rights and free-market. An example would be providing a tax-cut to certain companies that introduce technological advances that lower the overall amount of pollution they produce or providing an incentive to hire people under different backgrounds. A company, however, should have the freedom to not do either if they view it better to do so. Overall though, most corporations will probably take the incentives and as such, be kept to a higher moral standard.

So there are my own personal thoughts and interpretations of these two viewpoints. You are of course free to oppose them and by all means I implore you to express your opinion, as long as it is one you believe in, but I also implore you to fill yourself with the experience and knowledge that will allow your personal truth to hold credibility with those you present it to through your actions, or words.

An Idea has Sprung Into My Head!

2010-02-10T17:47:00.000-08:00

In my attempt to further understand the sad, sad souls who watch my videos and read my blog, I've decided on an opportunity that will benefit both of us! It's quite simple really, just provide me with an article or subject that you personally find important enough to bother me with and I'll read it, think on it, and provide a specialized post giving my personal view on the matter while also providing objective information!

While I cannot realistically promise to provide a post for every single article I read (it all depends on how many people respond to this and my schedule), I can promise that if I do decide to respond I will do my homework on the matter and not just throw together a quick politician-style statement!

You can contact me by either my:
Email Commandersqueaks@yahoo.com
My Messenger Deathcomesx@yahoo.com
Youtube Youtube.com/deathcomesx

Send you requests as soon as the inspiration comes to you!

List of Computer Games

2010-02-10T07:16:00.000-08:00

If you want to see a walkthrough of any of these games just send me a message or contact me somehow and I'll see what I can do!

List of Computer Games:
Oblivion
World of Warcraft
Battlefield 2
Black and White 2
Half Life 2
Sims 2
Sims 3
Bioshock
Half Life 1
Dark Messiah: Might and Magic
Guild Wars
Spore
Company of Heroes
Age of Empires 3
Age of Conan
Battlefield 2142
Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault
Dracula: Origins
Age of Chivalry
Braid
Deus Ex
America's Army 3
Champions Online
Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts
Left 4 Dead
Machinarium
Red Orchestra
Civilization IV
Team Fortress 2
Tropico 3
Torchlight
The Witcher
Counterstrike Source
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl
City of Villains/Heroes
The Battle for Middle-Earth
Star Wars Rebel Assault (If it even runs on XP)
Neverwinter Nights 2
Shadow Force: Razor Unit (If it runs on XP)
Battlefield 1942
Rise of Nations
Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne
League of Legends
Sim City 4
Call of Cthulu
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3
Dungeons and Dragons Online
Dragon Age Origins
Free Realms
Mabinogi
Warhammer: Age of Reckoning
Lord of The Rings Online
S4 League
World of Kung Fu

If I find anymore that I have I'll add them, but for now this is the list!

Why Don't We (They) Give a Fuck About School?

2010-02-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

The basic question that has plagued the minds of social commentators, teachers, and directors alike. Why does it seem that the majority of the student body in America, or at least the most vocal, doesn't care about their education? I have to think that the answer is simple, but not. They don't see the point, they don't grasp the concept of a career. Even if they do, a career to them is the enemy, the end to the party. It's the ultimate killjoy that stops the fun and starts the monotony.

The problem starts with a word that has become entirely leeched of its potential impact, the role model. The majority of celebrities, prominent musicians, and artists that pollute popular culture do not express through their actions an understanding or belief in the conventional standards and morals promoted by our education system. You don't see a prominent musician talking about how he obtained his classical instrument credentials from Princeton. It isn't widely believed that it takes a college degree to perform stunts on a skateboard or bike. This is just the tip of the problem, something that any "shmuck" who regularly tunes into TMZ can tell you. This isn't the root, the core, that lies in the household.

What do I mean by this? Do I mean that parents are far too nonrestrictive when it comes to their children? Do they not enforce strong enough discipline upon their child when he knowingly makes mistakes? To be frank, no. I've personally seen examples of a household where the parents would be considered responsible. The problem is not that they did not supply a strong structure for their child to grow in, but that they didn't provide the -right- structure to suit their individual child's needs and preferences. They did not take into consideration the forces working upon their child as anything, but opposition, and this is wrong.

At the age in which people attend middle-school, high school, and even in the early years of college, a strong yearning for independence and personal rebellion swells up inside them. They feel as though they have to distinguish themselves from their parents, while they still are directly affected by how they were raised. It's a sort of sick paradox in which a kid tries to oppose his parents, yet the way his parents raised him shape a good portion of how he goes about it. To put it plainly it's a complete fallacy to believe that an idea on how to raise a child formulated in the head of a parent before the birth of said child will hold up.

The solution? Destroy preconceptions on how a child should be raised and study your child, learn not just his likes and dislikes, but also his personality, what he values and structure discipline, learning, and development around it. Not only learn, but understand what draws him to it and involve yourself in it, unless your child strives with freedom and rebels under constant restriction, then give him the freedom. Some children work better under certain restrictions and some do not, not all children love a strict structure, but to say that none do would be moronic.

The most important thing to realize is that your child is not a miniature version of you, he will not share your exact values, likes, dislikes, and he will most likely not have your personality. True the way you raise him will shape him as a person, but there are thousands of other factors that come into play and you need to take them into consideration.

F.E.A.R.: Final Notes

2010-01-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

Even after posting a video on the matter I feel as though there are a few aspects of the game that I didn't really address. Truth be told, the video was more to talk about future endeavors than reviewing the game itself so I feel that I could use this text space to better communicate how I felt about individual aspects of the game.

I received a comment complimenting the game's A.I. and I must admit I've ran into worse, but the problem is that while the A.I. itself is above-average, the spawn points for enemies are so predictable that you simply have to place a grenade, mine, or even your cross-hair on the spot to completely obliterate the enemy. The heavy enemies are the worse for this because of the music cue and loud noise they produce while moving. They actually end up being easier than the normal enemies in some cases due to being so bloody obvious.

The game's sound isn't anything to right home about. The sound effects are pretty impressive I must admit, but the ambient noise and music leave a lot to be desired. I say this because it's only been a few weeks since I've finished playing the game and I can't remember a single note of that game's musical score. Now that isn't saying that I can replicate the entire score to Guardian Crusade by heart, but I at least remember the general theme and feel of the music. I don't have the same memory with F.E.A.R.

Despite all of that, what really shot this game in the foot was the level design. The level design is by far some of the most uninspired, monotonous, and downright boring level design I've seen in quite some time. This game came out during the mid to early 2000s where realism took precedence over style and creativity and it shows. I would honestly be surprised if the color palette of the entire game contained any bright or vibrant colors whatsoever. The architecture of each level is also a major detractor from the experience. If you showed me samples from each level without any information on the plot or narrative I would honestly think that half of the areas were in the same building.

In terms of plot and story, the second act of the game feels like a big ole bag of filler and it brings the narrative to an audible halt. You learn absolutely nothing of major importance during this part and its only purpose seems to be artificially lengthening the game so the developers can justify the fifty dollar price tag that it had upon release. There isn't much more to say, the plot overall could fit on a post-it-note and it brings nothing new to the table, except the concept of the impregnation of a pre-teen against her will, but honestly I could do without that.

Overall the experience was forgettable, but I don't feel like I want to rip my spleen out because of the time I spent on it. Was it a waste of my time? No, but I'm not going to remember it as a pinnacle of gaming either. Now if you will excuse me, I'm off to see Tim Curry rule Russia.

Ha!

2010-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

I recently did a post about the negative impact of gift cards and wouldn't you know it the advertisement system on the blog caught wind of it and turned all my advertisement links into links leading to gift card sites! Oh the delicious irony!

Update!

2010-01-25T17:29:00.001-08:00

Well I've decided to mindless ramble to fill a spot on my blog. Lets see what comes to my mind. Well I recently finished my walkthrough of F.E.A.R. and that is a tremendous weight off my shoulders. I don't think I'll touch another Monolith title for a good while, at least not another F.E.A.R. title! My time is pretty much spent trying to convince myself to focus on my studies and my finals which are starting tomorrow.

Secondly, I would like to implore my fans to check out Copper Chocobo's Youtube page, you can find the link to the page on one of my prior videos advertising his channel. He's been a very good friend of mine and I think his work is very under appreciated. He's released more videos than me on a ratio of about 1/4 and his effort alone deserves more credit.

Thirdly, I am contemplating perhaps starting a radio-play or simply a radio show of some sort. I'm not sure which yet, but if it is the latter it will probably be a free for all in which various friends of mine will discuss random topics with me. I'll probably develop the idea more later on, but that's just about as far as I've gone with that so far.

Finally, I enjoy comments and suggestions, so send them my way!

-See ya!

Salt

2010-01-20T10:21:00.001-08:00

A government is like salt, a little bit helps you savor the culture, a moderate amount helps preserve a society, but too much will suck all life out of it surrounds.

Umm....

2009-12-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

I really want to post something, but a subject to discuss hasn't come to me yet. Poof....Hrm. Eh, I've got nothing. Merry After Christmas/Before New Years!

The Christmas Spirit: Now Accepting Giftcards

2009-12-24T15:53:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd spend a moment discussing something near and dear to my heart, especially during the holidays, my loathing of gift cards! The little pieces of plastic that seem to omit the need to actually KNOW what a person likes. Simply get them a gift card to an all-in-one store like Walmart, Target, or Bestbuy and your all set!

I will state right now, I don't dislike gift cards because I believe they are some sort of cruel marketing technique used to break up the social structure, no, I think the overuse of these is due to the consumer, not the producer. I hate giftcards because I think they are lazy, pure and simple. They allow a person to get away with not spending time to get to know a person and their preferences: likes and dislikes. Isn't that part of being a friend, knowing what a person likes?

What happens if I haven't known the person long enough or know a person well enough to get a good gift? Ask them! Whatever happened to going up to a person and asking "What sort of things do you like?". It is almost impossible NOT to be able to get ahold of someone long enough to learn about their personal tastes. Instant messengers, voice chat, email, phones, and those ancient things called letters work too! What if I don't have any of those? Well obviously this person isn't -that- important to you and you shouldn't worry about getting them a gift. Well I don't want to be a dick. Take them out to eat! I have yet to meet a person who would turn down a free meal at Sizzler or some locale restaurant.

What gift cards represent is the impersonal nature that is becoming more and more obvious during the recent years. The holidays are never meant to be a general ordeal, a routine. We have these traditions to help us realize how thankful we should be for all the good qualities in our life, one of them being family and friends. Now I understand there are certain households that leave much to be desired, but even there you can find something to focus on to bring a little light to your holidays. If you absolutely cannot find something, then search for a friend, a place, something that you feel thankful for having, it exists.

So whether your doing some last second holiday shopping, finding a birthday gift, or giving someone a present just because, try to avoid these little pieces of plastic and head farther into the depths of the store of your choice (trust me, you won't get lost).

I Am A Statistic!

2009-12-16T18:53:00.000-08:00

I have recently finished filling out my voter's registration form and I must say that the occasion holds much higher significance than I thought it would. All was rather straight-forward until I came to the party selection screen. I decided to spend time to go to the individual websites of each party (exempting the Republican and Democrat), so that I would actually make a knowledgeable decision.

The first party was the American Independent Party: the embodiment of pure conservatism. These are the people those wimpy Republicans are trying to be! No abortion, no gay-marriage, no gun restrictions, no liberalism. These men show the god-fearing patriotism I thought only possible in the days when wigs were popular. While I admittingly agree with more than one of their beliefs, I thought that they didn't give enough attention to the contemporary issues that plague our society, next!

Second was the Green Party: what happens when Ferngully becomes a political party. This is the sort of thing Al Gore has wet dreams about. If it isn't quite obvious already, I am not fond of this party. These counter-productive slogan spouters annoy me to no end. They also seem to only focus on the environment with no care for any of the other political situations, next!

The Libertarian Party: We don't need no stinking government controlled business! The first thing that impressed me with this was their website, which was incredibly easy to navigate. Their fevor for the defense of free speech and uncensored internet use got me to click the other topics that I didn't even really have too much interest in originally. Overall they wish for minimalist government involvement with a larger focus on private business running the various services such as: Social Security, health care, and welfare. Due to how horridly managed most government ran services are (I've had personal experience with this), it seems like the obvious choice.

Finally is the Peace and Freedom Party: Female or DIE!. These ultra-feminist really scare me to death. The same problem arises that did with the Independent Party, not enough focus on contemporary issues. To be honest their only focus seemed on the inequality of genders. male < female inequality of course.

While it's quite obvious which party I went with I will provide the link to each website so you could look for yourself if interested. The main problem with the three other parties (though the two biggest culprits are the Green Party and the Peace and Freedom Party), is that they seem to only care about a single issue, which does not a political party make. To be honest, they seem like they'd be better off simply being an activist organization.

Libertarian: http://www.lp.org/
American Independent: http://www.aipca.org/
Green: http://www.cagreens.org/
Peace and Freedom: http://www.peaceandfreedom.org/home/

Why no Democrat or Republican segments? Simply because I have lost the majority of my faith in these two parties considering the job they've done so far.

A New Thing is Good

2009-12-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start using my blog to test my ability to write essays according to the topic supplied in a prompt. I will probably ask a few of my friends for prompts, think of a few of my own, and find some on the internet. Though, if you wish to supply me with some of your own feel free to do so. Send the prompts to my email, message me, or send me a PM on Youtube and I'll try to reply to the prompt when I get the chance.

Where the hell did November go?

2009-11-20T23:12:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to fill this blog with at least three to five significant posts a month and now that I look at my calender I realize I only have ten days to do it!

The reason for my absence (for the five of you who read this), is due to an onset of horrific headaches that have plagued me for the last month or so. I recently got a prescription along with tips from my doctor on how to relieve stress and lower the chance of them happening. Secondly, I'm going to a chiropractor soon to take care of a few spinal issues I've gotten while working out.

This also is the reason for me lowering my video posting on Youtube to once a week (also because I've noticed I get more views than when I release them in lump sums, yes I'm shameless). I will probably edit and release a video today and sometime during the weekend, but over the Thanksgiving break I might start production on a second video review that I've been wanting to do.

You might have noticed two bits of poetry that I placed on here, probably seemed a tad non-sequitur and that's something I understand. I'm actually going to study creative writing in college and figured I should develop as many styles of writing as possible (this is the main reason for the blog). Yes, I realize they are a bit melodramatic and such, but I've never really considered myself a modern Robert Frost or Edgar Allen Poe so bear with me.

Finally, I probably will go see a movie over the weekend and as such will supply another movie review relatively soon. If not I think I could manage to fish out a video game to review, but I'd much rather write a review for a movie at the moment.

Well, I think I could consider this a legitimate post, so here's one out of four!

P.S. If I got some more comments or messages or something to confirm that people read this it would probably inspire me to write more on it. I'm just saying that I'm a complete attention whore.

Art

2009-10-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

Art is
Passion, Expression, Devotion
Love is
Devotion, Expression, Passion
Love is
Art is

My Demented Inner Beauty

2009-10-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

This is not a beast of uncontrollable passion, of lust, or of the body at all
My mind is the culprit, cruel, calculating, callous
It strives to control, to manipulate those around me with malicious intent, corruption
A creature with a silver tongue, a slick charisma, and savoring appetite.
An appetite for pain, to torment those who torment me, predatory
My beast is that of cold logic, without love, without love
Beware my beauty

What To Take Into Account When Making a Sword and Arrow Style Multiplayer Game

2009-10-11T18:02:00.001-07:00

I recently went on what I call a "mod binge", in which I download various random mods and try them all out to see if I like any. One of the most recent of these games being Pirates, Vikings, and Knights II. I won't bother on a review of that game, but I will give it a two word review, cluster fuck. Something positive did come out of this experience though, I finally realized that most of these games that rely heavily on melee or archery style combat tend to suffer from the same problems that boil them down into an incoherent blob. So without further delay I'm going to provide a list of things that need to be taken into account when making a sword and arrow oriented online game.

1. Disable The Jumping Ability

Yes you heard me, if I am carrying around 50 lbs of armor and a 10 lbs sword I should not be able to hop let alone jump two and a half feet into the air.(Edit: I recently found out that knights were actually quite mobile in their armor, but I still think their jumping would be restricted. If not, I still think this should come into play.) Even if you disregard the realism issue you come across the major problem, people don't stop jumping. I would be surprised beyond belief if I played a game like this where half the team wasn't constantly hopping around and wildly swinging their swords around like a bunch of seizure induced bunny rabbits with pointy objects. This also adds to the cluster since most of these games also want you to dodge and parry these little pricks while they are jumping over you like your a bloody candlestick. It just makes things too complicated is all. Now I'm not saying all classes shouldn't be able to jump, there's no reason an archer dressed in cloth shouldn't have a modest leap and an assassin's whole concept is agility, but even with them I believe you should provide a stamina bar of sorts so they can't do it constantly.

2. Simplify Blocking

What do I mean by this exactly? Well instead of having to block in accordance to the type of swing an enemy is executing it should rely more on a rock, paper, and scissor concept. For example, you wouldn't expect to be able to realistically block a two handed great sword with a dagger and you wouldn't think it possible to block a javelin spear flying at you with anything less than a shield. I think it should rely more on a timed gauge than going in the right direction as well. It'd be much more practical to simply press block at the right time than focus on going to the right and blocking while someone to your right would enjoy turning the right side of your liver into a sliced dinner.

3. Give Incentives for Someone to Play the Class Like You Intended

Examples being:

Archers or Long Distance Classes: Give a bonus to damage when they attack from a distance instead of at close range.

Assassins or High/Fast Damage Classes: Give a damage bonus for being able to strike an enemy first before they hit or block you (don't give a back-stab bonus since that will quickly devolve into a game of "Ring Around the Rosie").

Tank or High Armor Classes: Give armor or damage buffs when attacking multiple enemies or successfully blocking an attack.

Guns or Mid-Range Weapon Classes: Provide a charge gauge that does a higher damage or provides a more accurate shot when aimed or held for a signified period of time.

4. Provide Areas to Heal, But Do NOT Make Them Instant Heal

Medical stations or pick-ups that slowly heal over time. This makes sure that battles don't quickly spiral downward into simply knowing where each health pickup is and hopping to and fro. Medical classes are also a plus, but again they should heal incremental amounts of health at a time. Inversely, I'd rather not have to whimper out of a conflict simply because I was left with only an iota of health after the last encounter I had and can't find a single way to regenerate my health.

5. Size, Size, Size

Let me put it simply, small scale games are usually not fun in this style of combat. When I pick up a sword nearly as tall as me I want to have a good section of opponents to be ready for a good chopping. The same goes for if I pick up a long bow, or a javelin, or any type of pointy weapon. Now I know that, ultimately, you can't predict how many people will play your game, but simply making the default server limit around thirty or higher can give a hint that you want a large amount of players on a server at one time.

6. Give Damage Indicators

This is more of a personal wish above everything else, but it would be nice to know what I hit and where I hit it when I swing into a horde of enemies. If nothing else it will organize everything a bit better and also help negate some complaints about hit detection.

That's my list of what you should take into account when your making this type of game. Of course, I am not a professional in anyway, so this is all simply a well organized pile of opinions and nothing more. Though, I do hope that someone will eventually see this or at least take these points into account when making or updating their game.

The Demographics of My School Students (Part 1)

2009-09-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

The different demographics of senior students I've encountered during my final year of high school. I will warn you right now that these will be broad stereotypes and are by no means apply to every single student who fits the descriptions I am about to present.

GED
First off is a little individual I would like to call Ged. Ged is the type of person who really doesn't care much about such pointless concepts like being a good role model for younger students, making the most out of the last year of high school, or in some cases even showing that they've learned anything throughout the years of free education. Recently, I've noticed that these individuals take a liking to brightly colored clothing and accessories, such as multicolored glasses, pink backpacks, or lime green pants. You can also spot a Ged by the large amount of pointless derogatory vocal output they release at random times. Usually this arises from Ged coming across something they can't quite grasp or something they are having trouble with. Usually they address such things as retarded or gay. Another key I've noticed is in the hairstyles, which tend to either be short at least be lifted up with enough hair gel to preserve a small creature for centuries to come.

Peppy
The second subject to focus on is the preppy, peppy college bound youth. While the most prominent gender is female, they can be both boy or girl. These people are pretty close to your generic student. They are incredibly social, adequately intelligent, and they have an incredible fervor for getting involved in school activities. You'll usually see these people in Link Crew and at the various student pep rallies. Usually dressed in rather common clothes, the only real way to notice someone like this is the way they chit chat. They're usually rather light-hearted and almost disturbingly cheery most of the time. In a nutshell these are your cheerleaders, your link crew, and your various pep rally peoples.

Bohemians
Third is of course the obvious metal heads, punker rockers, goths , and music enthusiasts in general, the bohemians of the school ground if you will. Band t-shirts, off-style clothing, and various discussions about artistic concepts, bands, and a little slice of politics and philosophy tend to litter the conversation of these people. One very obvious thing you will notice is that these types of people are very affectionate toward each other and are usually seen in very close vicinity to one another with usually a couple cuddling or hugging. Another thing is that they have some how managed to develop social awkwardness into such a form that it becomes a strength. Another group of people who you'll notice associating with this group are the otaku and gamers, though in the latter category usually only the hardcore and lifer variety do so.

I'll add other groups as I can across them, but for now these are the only ones I can provide examples for.

9

2009-09-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

Around two months ago I sat down to watch some good ole fashion videos on the Internet when the trailer for 9 popped up. After hearing what needed to be listened to and watching what need to be seen I had only one question, when and where! So yeah, I might have a bit of a thing for anything punk, but can you blame me? You have Elijah Woods playing a burlap doll in a post-apocalyptic world being hunted by a giant gear ridden monster with what looks like a wolf's skull for a head! What more do you need!?
The film begins with Elijah "9" Woods falling off some bizarre contraption onto a desk, after awakening he seems to already have full control of his mechanical functions as well as a basic knowledge of what everything around him is, but enough of that. After being intrigued by some rustling window shutters, he opens them to expose the devastated landscape, which is all that is left of....of...I think it's Russia simply because you hear the word "Comrade" in some old tapes shown later in the film. Well taking a peak outside he notices a creature quite like him, but it seems he is unable to speak or call out to him. Cut to outside and Elijah greets this fellow compatriot by smacking him in the face with a spoon, quite nice. Luckily 2, as he's called, is quite forgiving and even rather inventive as he fits 9 with a nifty little voice box. After the movie gives you just enough time to connect to this caring creature he's ripped from the movie by the aforementioned demon dog monster machine. Eventually Elijah decides to go after him and save him with the help of his new found buddy, and friend of 2, 5. And he does, and then he does something incredibly stupid and 2 is offed for the rest of the film, don't you just feel the warm atmosphere surrounding you, choking you?

If you haven't noticed this movie does not want you to be comfortable, it always wants to keep you on your feet and force into your head that this is not a safe world you are peering into. Throughout the film you feel the constant tension that all the characters do at the realization that there is no safe haven from the machines that wish to destroy our little sack puppet friends. While the film is rather reserved on the shock scares, it does supply a steady amount of a tense atmosphere that actually makes you hope that something will jump out at you just so you know what it is your nearly wetting your pants over.

Yet a film's atmosphere can be destroyed if not supplied with good voices to fill the air and luckily the few voices supplied are very efficient. We already mentioned Elijah and he's great, moving on. Christopher Plummer supplies an very appropriate nuance to 1's shaky and xenophobic demeanor, his performance is memorable yet not over-domineering, which actually can be said of all the roles. Jennifer Connelly as 7 provides a strong voice and attitude, a very fresh change from the good amount of pathetic female performances that have plagued cinema as of late, seeming perfectly suited to the strong and independent character she is portraying while still seeming huma..Um....real.

(Semi-Spoiler Warning)

One thing you will notice about the film is that it doesn't not like to provide exposition, actually it loathes it. It wants you to be in the here and now and will only give you the slightest bit of information just so you won't be completely baffled by what your looking at. All of the exposition can be summed up in the scene in which you meet the two silent, and apparently slightly perverted as you see in a later scene, twins who apparently have eyes that work like cameras and film projectors. All of the film's exposition can be supplied in that scene and in this sentence that I am about to provide. Nice scientist makes super intelligent robot, asshole chancellor steals super intelligent robot and uses it to make machines of war to take over the world, super intelligent robot gets pissed after a while and turns robots on humans and asshole chancellor, nice scientist goes underground and makes the stitch-punks to carry on after humans are done. The word subtle is not soft enough to explain the narrative of this film and some say this makes the film's narrative weak, I'm not sure if I can agree. It's true that the most overt form of symbolism and reference is when 2 is placed on a raft and 5 puts a single coin over his eyes before they push him off to sea (If you DON'T get that reference you obviously failed ancient history).

(End of Spoilers)

The end of this film leaves you with a feeling of yearning, you want to know more about this new world that the stitch-punks have at their disposal, and you definitely want to see what happens next after they have conquered this major threat. While most would probably want to shoot me for saying this, this film is in need of a sequel, something to further expand on the many questions and thoughts it leaves you with. Are there any humans left? Are there any other stitch-punks? Is the entire world destroyed or just one group of continents, one country? What bloody country are they even in, they hint at Russia with the word comrade, but who knows!? You know what? I demand that they either release a book, a game, a second movie, or some form of media to further expand on this universe, demand it I say!

We're finally at the end of this review and the inevitable question comes up, how did it content overall? That's actually very difficult to explain, while I usually want to think of how much other people would enjoy this film I think the only way I could do it justice is if I stuck with my own unfiltered opinion. I do think the narrative and story is a bit weak. The acting, character design, world design, and overall atmosphere are an original work of wonder that only further supplies the anxiety and curiosity left with me at the end of this visual masterpiece. The plot is probably the most generic portion of this film, but it isn't so much so that it becomes a major detractor, but it doesn't earn it any bonus points.

Overall Grade = B

Familiar Face/ Rblueboy777 is Credit to Team!

2009-09-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks again for this awesome picture of me!

Knowledge's Place in the Human Imagination.

2009-08-25T04:09:00.000-07:00

(I will warn you that this is far off the beaten path of my usual information and does not have an editor's touch. So it might be filled with some grammatical errors.)

Might I provide some food to thought for the couple of individuals who frequent my blog. I was recently speaking with a friend when I came to the revelation that seems to not be spoken about much the mass of society. Simply put, what I mean is the link and interaction of one's knowledge and imagination, the product being a revelation that truly explains way poets and scientist consider the human race a "unique" species. We aren't unique due to our ability to comprehend and acquire vast amounts of knowledge, in a smaller scale even an ape or canine can do that. We aren't unique due to our morality because even the smallest insect has its own moral code in the form of instincts (as well as is possible that a moral code is an evolution or mutation of instincts). No, we are unique because we have the capacity to imagine, to dream, and our ability to use knowledge to focus and concentrate our efforts toward that dream.

I think people who are categorized as either logical thinkers or dreamers are simply a sub-category leading the categorization of "Great Thinkers". For it takes a man who can dream and logically decipher and direct themselves toward that dream to be considered a great thinker and a great man. Anyone who restricts themselves to one of the two sub-categories is only limiting and effectively retarding themselves to a lack-luster method of thinking. Those who try to become great while occupying an even lower category are almost certainly doomed to mediocrity.

Now don't misunderstand me, it doesn't take a libraries worth of information and a strenuous focus on self-examination to be in the realm of higher thinkers. Simply knowing how each connects with the other and using that formula can propel many people to what I would daringly consider a higher form of thinking and self-awareness. While I myself haven't spent enough time to bring detail to the formula I think I could simplify it as such.

First: Dreaming and obtaining a very simple direction in which to head in terms of acquiring knowledge.
Second: Learning the methods of logical thinking and obtaining general knowledge while also focusing on whatever topic you could decipher from your dream if any.
Third: Devoting yourself to allowing the knowledge and logic you obtained to help either concentrate or expand on your imagination and then to focus on it to find a specific path to follow.
Fourth: Follow this path to help specify what types of knowledge you want to obtain to help you reach your dream.

I guess if I were to put it into a metaphor, consider yourself a man on a series of twisting and splitting roads, but a thick fog doesn't allow you to see in front of you and the signs scattered across are written in a language you can't understand. As you acquire knowledge and the methods of logical thinking the veil of the fog is slowly lifted and you begin to understand the signs. As you head further though you notice that the signs begin to become harder to read again and the fog has returned, you acquire more knowledge and use the methods of logical thinking to once again understand the sign and lift the veil. Imagination forms the landscape, the roads, the signs, but logic and knowledge allow you to understand the signs and follow the road.

Again, I need to consider this further and I simply used this as a reference to check back on so that I don't lose sight of this thought. If anyone else considers this useful feel free to take it for yourself and to expand on it. If you do so though please contact me so that I can see what other people take from this. You can find my contact me deathcomesx@yahoo.com if you wish.

That Squeaks is a Spy!

2009-08-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

A new walkthrough? Really?

2009-08-10T01:44:00.000-07:00

Well okay not just yet, but I have uploaded a sort of prequel to the walkthrough on my Youtube page. To be fairly honest I think just about everyone will be satisfied with this new inclusion to my vast archive of media! Check my Youtube page in a couple hours and it should be ready to go!

Dark Messiah: Might and Magic

2009-08-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

I was scanning through my PC collection when I came across a little devil I got around 2006. I never got pass the first couple of stages and to be honest, I don't remember why. Well I popped it in, installed in, and then the utter horror of this title seeped into me. Is it a bad game? No. Is it an ugly game? Not at all. So what's the problem? This game is brutal!

But lets back up a bit. What is this game about? Well you start with the voice of your character calling out to his master, who actually seems to either teleport in mid-blink, or your character was just declaring defeat at a game of hide and seek in a rather ominous location. Well after a slight tutorial in which you learn the various techniques, including the downright lethal kick, you get sent to a place called Stonehelm. Clever, no? This lovely little castle town's only flaw is being prone to necromancer attacks...wait, what? So, you come to the front gate, and apparently the undead horde is polite enough to wait until you get your credentials out of the way before tearing the ass out of the city. After a few heroic maneuvers (which include running away and firing at a cyclops from over a quarter of a mile away) you're treated as the local man-of-the-hour and taken to Menelag, the town Lord and mage...who promptly gets offed few hours after your character's having met him. The main character seems to have a string of bad-luck that follows him around.

From this point on you begin to fully grasp how downright unforgivable this game is. The game gives you a broad range of class specializations, but I'll save you time by telling you the only one I have managed to work with is a paladin type lad with focus on the healing-debuff spells and the rest in strength. The game's alleged stealth element is downright impossible unless your the type who's actually managed your way through a Splinter Cell game without firing any bullets or alerting as single guard. The enemies scope of vision and hearing is incredible, in the sense that if you start causing a ruckus every damn guard in the tri-county area will flock to the scene to bum rush your ass. The second problem is this game can be rather clever at times, enemies won't hesitate to rush you from your squishy exposed backside and shove a sword straight up happy land. Unless you have a sword and shield, you'd better know exactly what your doing. Finally, make the kick button your best friend. Due to the fact that most enemies take five to twenty power strikes to down on hard and you only two, the kick will be your ticket to victory more time than anything else. Chasms, fire pits, punji spikes, and other downright hilarious traps are generously scattered about and a well timed kick or sword strike can save you from dulling your blade on the impenetrable skulls of orcs and henchmen. Bosses are another matter, these gods of sword and spell will, more likely than not, kill you in a single well placed hit, leaving you wishing you hadn't bought a glass computer desk...as you ram your head into it in sheer utter rage.

I've talked enough about the combat mechanics; what about the visuals? Well, this game is downright pretty. Taking full advantage of the fantasy setting, you get pretty little castles, spires, and dungeons to take in when your not being hacked at by ghouls and cyclopes. The game sprawls across many different landscapes including dungeons, a castle town, island ruins, villainous underground lairs, and...sewers. You clash swords with henchmen, zombies, ghouls...Orcs. Okay, the game isn't really creative in the choice of locations and enemy variety, but it does provide good artistic direction to give every locale a unique flair. The particle effects on weapons and enemies are also very well done, again, taking full advantage of the fantasy setting to go all out with the shiny items of the hacking variety.

Finally, how's the story? How to describe it, have you ever watched a movie that overall had a good story, but provided one too many hints toward upcoming plot-twists, ultimately dulling the moment? That happens to be the one major flaw with Dark Messiah's story. Starting from the ten minute mark on you are constantly reminded that you are an important person, who will have a major impact of the fate of this place. You hear constant chatter of your father who you've never met or heard of yet seems to be a person of great power. By the time it finally comes to expose you as the demon son of an immortal imprisoned evil, it almost comes off as expected. When you ignore this major flaw the rest of the story is adequate enough to enjoy throughout the game, but probably won't be mentioned again during the topic of great game plots and stories.

So how does this game rank up?

Difficulty = (C+) This game can be very unforgiving at times and one wrong move can have enemies swarming you like angry bees with gigantic swords.

Graphics = ( A-) You'll always have an eyeful every glance you take, but sadly the choice of locations and enemies are far from original.

Story = (B) A rather standard story with a bit too much foreshadowing, but overall it will stay you over for the duration of the game and keep you interested.

Replay Value = (A-) The class tree inevitably allows this game to be played multiple ways and the game, for the most part, endorses this. Sadly there are parts that outright restrict certain class specifications and this will funnel you into a narrow selection of rules when choosing how you spend your points.
The multiplayer is pitiful. Don't even try it.

Demographic Reach = (C) The incredible difficulty of this game will scare away casual players, leaving this gem for the hardcore and avid gamers only.

Overall Grade = (B-)

A callout to my editor!

2009-07-27T00:41:00.000-07:00

I figured it was about time this man got some recognition for making all my work look nice and professional-like! Here's his Youtube page and Ustream, I hope you all pay him a visit and do horrible horrible things to him!

Copper Chocobo's Youtube

Copper Chocobo's Ustream

The Proposal

2009-07-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock manage to bring us an -adorable- little romantic comedy featuring a crazy tribal grandmother, an illegal-immigrant/stripper/priest/waiter, and a puppy.

Sarah Bullock plays Margaret Tate, a condescending and downright villainous executive editor at a prominent book publishing company. Andrew Paxton (Played by Ryan Reynolds), is her assistant/monkey on a leash. After firing long-time employee Bob Spaulding from the company she is almost immediately sucked into the movie's conflict. She's actually sucked in so fast that the scene almost looks like instant retribution from the gods due to her firing of Bob. I think Bob has some bad voodoo working with him. Anyway, the conflict is that she is facing the threat of deportation due to not listening to the nice little American government and leaving the country before her visa was cleared.

Facing the threat of all her career being destroyed, she sees it only fit to hold someone else's neck out under the employment guillotine as well. Of course this person is her assistant, in which she all but forces Mr. Paxton into his hand in marriage since that will legalize her as an American citizen (didn't I see this on Drew Carry once?). Admittedly, they do handle this concept well by having the government agent who's going to watch their every move in the hope of catching a scam and...Oh hi I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, didn't see you there!

Of course we need to add a little more spice to this film, so lets have Paxton's grandma have a birthday at the same exact time and invite both of them out to Alaska, yes, Alaska. Do I smell a few out of our element scenes, Ms. Tate? So they arrive in Alaska in which we meet Mr. Paxton's lovely grandma (played by Betty White), and his mother. After a couple scenes involving the twist of Paxton's family being millionaires, mixed in with another out of our element scene the plot is off!

Now up to this point the movie hasn't been horrible or surreal in any extreme fashion, hell it's even been enjoyable and managed a few chuckles out of me. That lasts until we meet the waiter/stripper/general store owner/priest Ramone (Played by Oscar Nunez). Honestly film, this movie has enough elements, we don't need a running gag too! To the actor's credit, he does at least manage to keep me from letting out an audible sigh of disgust inside the nice theater, but they milk this joke way too much. It isn't even too bad up until the stripper part, since every scene involving him after that references back to that one scene, a scene that in all honesty wasn't even the slightest bit funny. The film moves along, the father berates the son for not wishing to take over the family business. He lets out his frustration on an unfinished boat while Tate tries to wash the bad joke from her flesh. This leads to an actually rather funny scene involving both of them running into each other bare ass naked.

Let's take this little moment to focus on grandma shall we? I say this because, to be honest, she's actually got a better role than both Reynolds and Bullock, a role which she pulls off incredibly well. I mean ignoring the fatally unfunny tribal dance scene, this lady does pull off the witty, slightly eccentric old granny quite successfully. Her execution of the film's climax is actually rather brilliant.

Back to the film, a few more jokes, a revelation that Tate isn't evil, just bottled up, alone, and frightful. Next comes the obligatory coming clean at the chapel scene, she runs off to face her dues and get deported. Granny actually manages to get an outright laugh out of me by faking a heart-attack to get her son and grandson to stop fighting. He misses her at the airport, but catches her at the office. He confesses his love for her and desire to date...What? At the end it all revolves around to the Immigration Office where both of them say they're ready to face the aforementioned marriage test! Phew, despite how little the film's third act accomplished it was hard to fit that all in there.

So how is this film? While it does manage to get a few laughs out of me here and there and it isn't an awful film, it relies too much on tired cliches and plot formulas. The only thing that brings this film up to passing are the incredible performances by Reynolds, Bullock, and White. Sadly, I don't this film with last a year before simply becoming a section in an actor's resume.

Overall Grade = C

UFC: Undisputed 2009

2009-07-17T22:45:00.001-07:00

Now let me be the first to say that I DO NOT play sports games. The only franchise I've played more than once is the WWE/WWF games and that's because I'm a sucker for character creation and WWE knows its character creation (Also who doesn't want to see their character man-handle their favorite heel or face?). Yet I kept hearing constant praise on the innovative new sports title based off the quote on quote "fastest growing sport in the country". So I was suckered into breaking my own personal boycott on the sports genre to try this baby out and I have to say it ended up being a smart buy.

Right on the box is a glimmer of hope when you say the company that made it is Yukes, the same company that made the WWE games. It only gets better as you pop the game and get greeted by a some person who I'm sure is important to the UFC universe....Who tells you how much of a badass you have to be to survive in this game. After all that you get the title screen, so yeah, this game knows how to make a first impression. You're immediately offered to try the tutorial, but being the ultra-gamer that I am I decided to wing it and go straight into career mode.
The character creation screen is rather standard; but passable, you get to choose your weight class, height, skin color, hair, and the like. After this you choose your striking style (Boxing, Kick Boxing, and Muay Thai), and your grapple style (Judo, Wrestling, and Ju-Jitsu). While that might seem like a slim selection, the styles differ enough to add a distinctiveness to each fighting style that makes up for the lack of selection. Though, knowing the large amounts of fighting styles used in UFC, it would have been nice to see other fighting styles as well. After that, you see that important person give an inspirational speech and your thrown into your first match right off the bat.
This is where you'll find out if this game is your cup of tea or not. While each fight will force you to expand your fighting prowess and learn new styles and moves, this is basically the bread and butter of the entire game. You start the match, get it on with a bit of striking, a bit of grappling, and a bit more striking. Being a boxer I tried to throw a fury of fists and lost all my stamina in ten seconds, which was followed by a bit of cranial rearrangement before the match was over.

Luckily I was reassured with a comforting email from that important person who then offered me the chance to pick one of three people to fight (luckily it seems I always get to decide who to fight instead of visa-versa).
While there are numerous amounts of micro-management in the terms of the defense/offense for striking, grappling, submission ect. the matches come down to trying to hurt the person while avoiding the near fatal high kicks and combos that will leave you on the ground in ten seconds if your not careful. You absolutely have to adapt and learn how to block, counter, and time your moves right if you want to win more than a couple of fights in your entire career. The only issue I have is with the various transitions that occur while your on the ground, I found myself having to check back at the move list numerous times to find out how to get out of a certain mount. These transitions are done with a certain movement of the right analog stick and this would work fine if the movements you were supposed to do weren't so long and finicky on how perfect you had to do it. When it comes to me I usually just throw combo after combo, followed with a bit of clinching until I knock the bastard on the floor and throw punches until he goes night-night.
Finishing off with a few side notes, the game looks amazing. Sweat, blood, and various injuries are shown off so realistically that it is actually the first game in a while to make my cringe slightly when I see a two giant gashes across a person's face.The bodies all have realistic muscle structure and anatomy and, unlike other games, the created characters actually are on par with the professional fighters in terms of realism. The punches and kicks feel like they have weight behind them, which helps you understand while a stray elbow can apparently send your fighter into dreamland. The voice acting is also above average, but that isn't surprising since most of the people who voice act in the game are also announcers and T.V. show hosts and as such already know how to make their voice believable and strong.
So how is UFC's report card?
Difficulty = (A) While you will get your ass handed to you in the later matches if you don't know what your doing, the game's learning curve is steady from tip to top and if you actually try to improve as you move on you will be greeted with success.
Graphics = (A) This game is visually stunning, everything from the crowd outside the cage to the pimple on your fighters nose is brought into extreme realism. Though I will warn you that this game is not for the squeamish since all wounds also look incredibly realistic.
Story = (C) It's a sports game, and most sports games seem to think that they don't need a story. You're a fighter who wants to get to the top and your willing to break as many noses as possible to get there, that's your story.
Replay Value = (A) With the multiplayer, custom characters, and various fighting styles, I can see people playing this game for months to come. If you want a game that will give you a run for your money, here it is.
Demographic Reach = (B) Though this game is visually stunning, innovative, and fun, it is a sports title and this automatically puts it into a sort of niche category. The game's complex controls and the amount of attention it requires from you to succeed might steer some players away from it. If you don't enjoy people being the crap out of each other in the most technical fashion possible than you probably will pass this one up.

Overall Grade = (B+)

InFamous

2009-07-09T18:35:00.001-07:00

One word to describe InFamous, refreshing. This game is the newest and easily the most well thought out and executed game of the super-hero genre to date. With equal parts platforming, puzzle, story, and explosion.

You star as Cole MacGrath, a courier. What's a courier? Well basically a mailman for people who think Fed-Ex is too nosey. You learn he has a love-interest named Trish and a best friend named Zeke and that's about all the character history you're given. The game starts with Cole looking worst for ware, being caught in the epicenter of an explosion. Somehow he survives this event and you start the game waddling yourself around explosions to make your way to the evacuation point. That goes down the drain as lightning starts going off around you, blowing the evacuation area to bits and knocking you out.

You are then introduced to the next treat in its constant attempt to sate the nerd hunger. All the cut-scenes are done in a comic panel style similar to Max Payne with a little bit of animation thrown in for good measure. You learn that after the shock Cole has gained the ability of shocky fingers, though he is rather weak at this point. You awaken on the rooftop paradise that you share with your buddy Zeke as you learn of a nearby food-drop. Then the game tells you to jump off a roof...Yeaup. This is where the game basically introduces one of its guiding principles "There is no such thing as inaccessible" besides the water...Since we've all seen what happens when you throw a toaster in water. This means that any building you see you can climb to the tipy top if you know the right way to do so. After climbing and jumping Altair style for about an hour you finally decide to go to the food-drop. After going up to help dislodge it from a local piece of art (causing it to fall to the ground and probably break all the clam chowder cans...jerk), you get your first of many choices. Either shock the bastards and open up your own personal Hometown Buffet or listen to what Sesame Street told you and share.

After this you get your first set of missions and you are introduced to the urban playground you get to do your merry jig about. Your stage is the rather lovely Empire city (rubble, gangs, and starvation aside) in the middle of a quarantine put forth due to the explosion and the emergence of a new plague. This basically means that police who stayed are too busy preventing riots and stopping death to mind the rampant collateral damage you cause with your shocky fists while trying to kill ridiculously agile enemies. They also don't seem the mind you scaling the various buildings around you. In this sense the controls are fluid enough, though I did come across a bit of difficulty trying to attack while leaping from building to building, since attempting to aim while doing this will occasionally cause you to accidentally latch onto a nearby ledge and leave you open to a rocket to the face. Your move-set is constantly increasing via a refreshing gazillion volt jolt from the underground power-stations that also provide convenient flashes of brilliance (apparently, they are rather vague on this), that allows Cole to realize his new dance-steps. This keeps the game fresh as well as letting it supply new and interesting missions and side-missions (and trust me, these very seldom repeat more than twice), that require these new moves.

What hero sandwich would be complete without a set of competent villains though? While it is constantly hinted at that your main antagonist is this fellow named Kessler you start your power-trip (har har), by taking on a gang called the Reapers. Imagine if humans had the capability to survive a combined dosage of steroids, PCP, and acid and you basically have the Reapers. They are led by the femme fatale Sasha (a lady who is probably scariest nymphomaniac I have ever seen). With each island is a new topping of villains that causes further distinction to each pile of rubble you get to climb up and down and all around.

Finally, and probably the most refreshing portion of this game, is the story. This tasty meal is complete with various little spices in terms of plot-twists and story/character development that will hold you by the collar, slap you about, and then make you kiss its foot asking for another. They allow the user to keep this game light though by keeping around a quarter of the story optional via uplink satellite dishes you find about the map (of course I collected every single one of those damn things), but for those who want a story they give you a slew of juicy mind fucks. The final plot-twist, I believe, is the only time I've ever simultaneously thought "what the fuck!?" and "it all makes sense!" at the same time, and that deserves an award of some sort. Final thought is that the story is what makes this game great, the gameplay makes it good, the look makes it really good, the story makes it an orgasmic delight for the mind.

Overall I can honestly say that I will have to strain to think of anyone who won't find this game enjoyable. I think everyone will like this tasty snack that will indulge you, punish you, satisfy you. It will keep you going to your peak and then it will kiss you, tell you what to expect next time, and leave you a drooling pile of the floor fantasizing what to expect on its next visit.

Now lets get to the technical side, the grade.

Difficulty (Played on Hard) = (B) While it can be unforgivable at times, it always seems to award innovative thinking and quick reflexes.

Graphics = (A -) This game is beautiful from top to bottom with each island giving off its own personality. While it isn't the most graphically advanced game, it does do a lot with what it has.

Gameplay = (B) While it isn't perfect and can be a tad frustrating when trying to multi-task it doesn't cause enough frustration to impede on the overall experience.

Story = (A+) This game has one of the most appealing stories I've seen in quite a while. It flows nicely with only a slip hiccup mid-game and is abundant without being bloated or excessive. It supplies you with twists and turns to keep you by the collar and it doesn't let go.

Replay Value = (A-) While the game can differ greatly depending on whether you choose evil or good karma, I don't see people playing this game more than twice through.

Demographic Reach = (A-) I see this game appealing to the platformer, the adrenaline junky, the story-whore, the quick-thinker, and anyone who enjoys an exhilarating game with many ways to reach its slimey tentacles out and hook you.

Overall Grade = (A-)

You don't know me.

2009-06-27T14:57:00.001-07:00

Next Episode Almost Done

2009-06-24T21:11:00.000-07:00

Just need to do the most dreadful part...Producing and editing...Ug.....I'll start tonight.

New Episode of the Secret Block in Production

2009-06-18T23:45:00.001-07:00

While I can't tell you exactly what game I'm going to review I can say that in terms of ego-stroking it rivals both Moonwalker and Sidekicks and nearly overloads the bullshit meter. I'll probably have it done in a few days or so once I actually start recording and such.

Sophisticated Squeaks

2009-06-18T15:40:00.001-07:00

By DarkHarpuia

Kirby's Avalanche

2009-06-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

For those who thought Super Mario was the only franchise to blatantly rip off a popular Japanese game, there's Kirby's avalanche. Though a bit more credit could be given to Kirby Avalanche, since it actually provides some very obvious alternations to both Puyo Puyo and the Kirby franchise as a whole. The first thing that gives you a little jolt is the little "Kirby's Avalanche" that pops up before the title screen. To the casual player, this wouldn't seem like much at all, but any avid Kirby fan would know that there has hardly, if ever, been any dialogue in a Kirby game. What it does succeed in doing is setting the mood for what will easily be quite a peculiar ride.

As soon as you start the tournament you'll realize why very few characters in the Kirby universe are given lines; most of them are complete assholes. Even Kirby, the protagonist, the cuddly little pink puff with a gigantic appetite, and quite possibly the nicest character in any franchise, is a fucking dick. He does everything from stomping on a poor tree's roots, interrupting helpful information, to pestering a poor bastard who should be in a mental institution to play a stupid Tetris knock-off. After hearing the sass that comes from his gaping maw, you'll be glad he's restricted to lovable little coos in his other games. Though, in all honesty, it is kind of charming to hear each of your opponent's names before each match (Just in case you ever had trouble pronouncing Whispy Woods).

Sadly though, those sound clips are more then a third of the sounds throughout the entire game. Besides the sound effects you'll hear a maximum of four songs throughout the whole thing. Again, this is very peculiar for a franchise that has had not been faulted for not having appropriate music when needed. What really shocks me is the fact that they didn't decide to add music to fit the theme of each enemy, which seems very basic. True it does change when your about to get your ass handed to you (if you don't know combos this will happen often), but that's not good enough.

How about the cream of the crop, the game play? Well, think Tetris mixed with Connect 4 and you basically have Kirby's Avalanche. The only other thing that needs to be added is when you pull off a combo (get more than four blocks of the same color lined up or line up blocks so when one set disappears it will line up another), your opponent will get a little 'fuck you' in the form of a line of black blocks that can only be destroyed by grouping together blocks near it. This is fine until you get a big combo and half your screen is taking up by these little burnt shits. Don't hope that the computer won't take advantage of this either. On the second level I had that fucking shrubbery pull the half-map-slap around a half-a-dozen times within ten matches. You better learn quick or else your screwed, and there isn't a tutorial to help you along either (I guess they figured if you couldn't get something so simple you were too mentally handicapped to even play the game).

Though, overall, the game isn't that bad. I mean it has its flaws and it hardly even fits the mold well enough to be called a Kirby game, but it's passable. When it comes down to it what you have is a pretty solid Puyo Puyo game with the Kirby facade slapped on the front, nothing more, nothing less. If you like Kirby and you like Puyo Puyo you will like this game, if you like one of the two you will play this game for a bit at least.

Difficulty(Played on Normal) = (B-) This game has a very steep learning curve for those who can't grasp the planning required to master the combo system and it gives very little assistance in teaching you this skill.

Graphics = (A-) For the time the graphics are very pretty, using excellent shading to almost give off a pseudo-3D effect. Like any Kirby game, everything is jolly and candy-colored to keep your eyes interested.

Gameplay = (A-) Despite being incredibly difficult to master, the controls are rather simple and you will be enjoying yourself each and every time you get pummeled.

Story = (C-) Defeat King DeDeDe in a tournament because Kirby's sensitive little ego won't let that damn Penguin have a break! That's about as deep as it gets, this is a very simple game in the story sense.

Replayability = (B-) While I don't see an allure to play this game through more than a few times, the hardcore retro gamers will obviously play through this to get the high score and enjoy every second of it.

Multiplayer = (C+) The multiplayer was an afterthought, it's simply two players playing against eachother. There's no character select, there's no alternate modes, it's safe and simple.

Accessibility (Demographic) = (B) This game's simple premise, colorful presentation, and good use of Kirby content will have many nostalgic fans and young players flocking to it.

Overall grade = (B -)
Video Review

Emulators are a vicious beast

2009-05-30T18:15:00.001-07:00

I swear, N64 emulators are an entirely different species from their docile fathers the SNES emulators. These things love to get choppy, glitching, and all together finicky over what you play. They decide what they want to play and if you don't like it you can go rot in hell! I've been wrestling with several of these to get one game to play well. Trying for six bloody hours and I've only made minor progress, if that! Well I have to go eat, so they've won this round, but it isn't over! It isn't over by a long shot, you hear me!?!

Yes!

2009-05-11T16:02:00.001-07:00

All Hail Kajy!

2009-05-10T21:04:00.002-07:00

My good friend Kajy has just finished making this for me. Surprisingly, I didn't even ask him to put this together, but I'd be an idiot to complain about this. Oh right, yes, I am a furry....Did I mention that before? Probably not.
For those who are wondering, you can find his work here. http://darkharpuia.deviantart.com/ enjoy.

Huzzah!

2009-05-08T05:07:00.000-07:00

Well I've been contacted by a good friend with the proposal of putting together a joint machinima that will make my previous attempts at work seem like it was made by a second-grader with down syndrome. I've seen some of his work and his abilities with editing and production far surpass my own. This will also be my second group of videos to actually contain voice actors specifically cast for the video. For the few who've seen my Special Announcement video, Mint (the narrator), will be making a return as a voice actor along with myself and the aforementioned editor. I still have to get together a couple more actors to get it all together (call out anyone?), but besides that it seems like it could be put into production within a month or two. Now this won't mean that I won't put together more videos during that time, but it will mean that anything that takes more then a few hours to put together will be put on hold until this one is finished. I hope my adoring...65 fans don't mind!

P.S. Yes, well if any voice actors would like to possibly take part in my video then feel free to send me a PM or catch me on Skype. I'm looking particularly for a female voice actors, but any males with a natural high tenor can ask too.

Sincerely,
Squeaks
:3

I am giant!

2009-04-24T18:30:00.001-07:00

Well today I saw the fruits of my labors being harvested and what a grand harvest it was. In laymen terms I had just finished the first part of my strength training program. One I devised myself to increase my overall strength since it had been a good six months since I've done something of that sort. I did a variation on the 5x5 rule in which in the first week I'd do 5x5 for two exercises (Chest= Flat Bench and Incline) (Back= Dead-Lift and Barbell Row)(Arms=Close-grip bench and EZ-Bar Curl,) followed by two other exercises with a standard 15-8 rep range for four sets each. Next week I did 3x3 and the following I attempted my one rep max followed by 3 reps followed by 5.

I was able to increase my bench press from 200 lbs to 225 and my dead-lift from 300 lbs to 335 lbs. I am not attempting my max for my incline and row until next week since I do not want to attempt a one rep max twice in one workout for two different exercises. The reason I'm estatic is because this is the first time I've put together a strength program that has shown concrete results, which means I'm doing things right. In turn it has sold me on the 5x5 rule in full. I would recommend something similar to this for anyone who wished to increase their strength, but I would probably not recommend the particular exercises to anyone who hasn't worked out for at least a year though since it does put a tremendous strain on your muscles and it could injure someone who isn't used to doing the aforementioned exercises.

Here is basically my workout program if anyone wishes to follow.

Monday Arms/Traps/Lower Abs (I used to skip arms so I put them first to make me do them.)
Triceps
Close Grip Bench (5x5, 3x3, 2x2)
Rope Cable Extensions (3 sets 15-10 rep range)
Straight Bar Extensions (3 sets 15-10 rep range)
Biceps
EZ-Bar Curl (5x5 3x3 2x2)
Flat Bench Cable Curls (In this exercise I laid on a flat bench, got an cable straight bar and did the curling motion while on my back) (3 sets 15-10 reps)
Hammer Curls (With cables or dumbbells) (3 sets 15-10 reps)
Lower Abs
Reverse Crunches (3 sets to failure)
Traps
Reverse Incline Bench Shoulder Raises (Lying stomach first on an incline bench I proceeded to do shoulder raises, this hits the upper traps) (3 sets 15-10 reps)
Cable Row Shrug (Sitting on a cable row machine, but instead I do a shrug instead of a row) (7 sets 10 reps each with 30 second rest between sets)

Tuesday Quadriceps and Calves (I am not doing the 5x5 rule for my quadriceps)
Quadriceps
Barbell Hack Squats (4 sets 15-8 reps)
Machine Leg Press (4 sets 15-8 reps)
Leg Extensions (4 sets 20-10 reps)
Sissy Squats (4 sets 20 reps)
Body-Weight Squats (4 sets 20 reps)
Calves
One Footed Body-Weight Calf Press (I simply stand on the platform behind an incline bench and do one footed raises while balancing myself with the bar, I go for the lower range of motion in this exercise) (3 sets 20 reps on each foot)
Leg Press Calve Press (3 sets 20 reps)

Thursday Chest/Obliques/Rear Delts
Chest
Flat Bench (5x5 3x3 1x1)
Incline Bench (5x5 3x3 1x1)
Cable Crossovers or Cable Raises (4 sets 15-10 reps)
Dumbbell Incline Fly (4 sets 15-8 reps)
Obliques
Dumbbell or Medicine Ball Twists (3 sets to failure)
Rear Deltoids
Bent Over Shoulder Raises (3 sets 15-10 reps)
Cable Machine or Cable Rear Delts Raises (3 sets 15-10 reps)

Friday Back/Front Abdominal/Front Delts
Back
Dead-Lift (5x5 3x3 1x1)
Bent Over Barbell Row (5x5 3x3 1x1)
Behind The Head Pulldown (4 sets 15-10 reps)
Cable Rows (4 sets 15-10 reps)
Front Abdominal
Crunches (3 sets 25 reps)
Front Delts
Smith Machine Shoulder Press (3 sets 12-8 reps)
Incline Bench Barbell Shoulder Raises (3 sets 12-8 reps)

Saturday Hamstrings/Calves (Though I admit I've been neglecting them)
Hamstrings
Yoga Ball Leg Curls (4 sets of 20 reps)
Sumo Style Dead-Lift (4 sets 12-8 reps)
Seated Leg Curls (4 sets 20-10 reps)
Side to Side Weighted Leg Stretches (I step from side to side, stretching out my inner hamstrings while carrying a weight on my shoulder. (4 sets 20 reps)
Calves
Leg Press Calve Press (3 sets 20 reps)
One Footed Calve Raise (3 sets 20 reps)

Trashcans don't = Horseshoes

2009-04-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

You know one of my largest pet peeves? The one that probably is the main reason I prefer to stay away from places like pools and parks? Slobs, that's it, slobs. People who can't take the ten foot walk required to throw trash into the proper trashcans! At this point in history it isn't even excusable anymore. Trashcans can be found every 100 feet in most residential areas and every 100 yards everywhere else. Why can't to throw trash away in the bloody trashcan? What's even worse are the people who throw their shit at the trashcan and think because it's close it counts. This isn't horseshoes you scummy son of a bitch!
What causes this sudden burst of anger to arise is simple actually. Yesterday I decided to head to the pool because it was hitting near the 100 degree mark and I figured it I needed to get some sun that wasn't through a quarter inch piece of glass. So I go and for the most part it's quite relaxing. I swim about ten laps from side to side, do a bit of stretching and relaxing in the jacuzzi, all good. After that I decide to rest on one of those nice extending lawn chairs they have. I drift off a bit and when I come back to my senses I realize that I'm almost completely dry and don't feel like getting wet again, so I decide to take a little walk around the pool.
This is when I begin to notice little bits of trash around the pool, no biggy; I pick them up and toss them in the trashcan, fine. Then I go around the eating area and holy mother of pickles. It looks like an entire family of thirty decided to have a full Burger King buffet, complete with alcohol (Do I really need to mention why that's bad? You've all been to a pool right?), and enough limes to permanently dull your sense of taste. The bad part? It was scattered around the trashcan at almost an inch and a half high and probably about two feet in diameter. Being the tree-hugger I am I spent ten minutes, TEN MINUTES picking up every piece of trash and having to actually stack and slip things in to get it to all fit. You see the fundamental problem? I had to clean up someone else's fucking mess because they were too damn lazy to put the trash in the can properly and instead decided to toss it at the can like a bunch of fucken monkeys!
Now I don't mind slobs for the most part, hey if it's your house or your property you can be as much of a pig as you want. When it's a public area though and there is at least a half a dozen trashcans within smelling distance, there is no excuse to be a lazy bastard. I swear these people rank right up there with the dumbfucks who wear their pants at their knees or the people who can't keep their mouth shut if it would save their life. These people are scum, I mean it, I don't care if they're 10 or 90, if they make 3,000 a year or 2,000,000 a year, if you can't pick up after yourself like a proper adult then you need to go back home and watch some Barney tapes! Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do their share you piece of shit! I'm going to go kill a small animal now..I kid..

Edit: For the life of me I can't spell pool right on the first try.

Sonic and The Black Knight

2009-04-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

So I happened to have busted my mouse around a week ago and had to leave for the store to get a new one. The problem with this is that I am what you would call a -sale whore-, in that if I see a sale on something I like, even if I currently should be spending the money, I buy it. This disease led me to purchasing both the Sonic Mega Collection and Sonic and The Black Knight, but you know what the biggest surprise was? They were both good, nay they were both enjoyable! I mean we could all guess that the first would be enjoyable because it is Sonic in its quote unquote "golden years", but a current Sonic game, let alone the most recent of them, being good? Unfathomable you say, but I say it is true!

This is even harder to say because, as you could have guessed, I had played the very first Sonic off the mega collection no longer then ten minutes before popping in Sonic and the Black Knight. This led to the first realization (one that comes to an even greater shock to me because I haven't played a Sonic game since Sonic Adventure DX for the Gamecube), the Sonic Team aren't half bad at animation. The entrance captivated me from the very start and just about to the end as well (with a few hiccups provided by rather average, but overall acceptable voice acting.) After that stellar animation it seems that they decided to budget their time to focus more on the gameplay then providing the same stellar animation, the latter switching to a stop motion comic style, but the game seems better for it since this type of cut-scene seems to know it can't last too long on its own and quickly makes with the explaining before shooing away.

Secondly, lets talk about the voice acting. While nothing great in both the script and in the voice actors themselves, it does manage to at least keep you from becoming derailed while speeding through the game. Though I admit that it can be a tad wooden at times, I can also say that I've seen far, far worse. Though besides that there isn't much else to say about it, probably to the games dismay, since it doesn't really supply that many memorable lines or impressive speeches.

Lets go to the story. Oh you remember that whole thing with King Arthur and the Round Table? The part about a noble king who leads a group of valorous knights on the quest for good? No, no you don't, shut up. All of that never happened and is all a lie according to Sonic and The Black Knight. Instead King Arthur was actually an evil prick who can easily be corrupted by the thought of immortality, up to the point that he goes on a complete killing spree of his beloved kingdom. So yeah, the story for this new installation is sort of far-fetched, but to be honest it simply seems to be there to justify the levels you travel through over anything else. Trust me when I say that it gets even more confusing after you beat the first part of it. Sadly, I think Sonic Team needs to invest in some new writers because I've come across fan fiction that had better stories then this. You can skip over it though so all is well (mind you it was very good fan-fiction).

Now lets get to the meat and potatoes, the level design. I suppose you could think of this like....Well remember that one arcade game where you got into the life raft and would paddle in the various directions you wanted to go? Think of it like that, but with now you have the ability to jump and swing a sword that, to my utter surprise, is actually normal size. (Since we all know that most swords tend to be a tad over-compensatory (I'm looking at you Square Enix), So basically the game is like the rail-cart level of Super Mario RPG repeated with incremental difficulty increases and enemies that are definitely -not- ripping of the Twilight from Legend of Zelda. They just have the ability to spawn from the sky or ground, spawn in vast numbers, are covered in a mixture of blacks and other dark colors, oh and they don't talk...Actually it seems that everyone besides the main characters in this game talk in various "meeps" like Beaker. They never explain this either, but I guess they wanted us to figure that they were short on time (I mean hell they released this five or so months after Unleashed).

I seem to have drifted off, what was I talking about? Oh yes, the levels! This is where most will get a rather nostalgic tingling in their tummies since it plays out a lot like the classic games in a sense. You run across a rather straight forward path that, at various points, allows you to split off and travel in various different routes. You have to avoid or confront various enemies and traps (many of which you can do in mid-stride,) and you collect rings.....Well no actually you collect fairies...Which is even stranger because the sword sidekick (Did I mention the sword sidekick? Well this is a review not a synopsis), tells you that these fairies will give you rings. Why aren't they just rings? I mean true they give you five rings a fairy, but that leaves the levels rather bare except for various enemies and traps....That portion of the game I never really will understand. Anyway, you also get to run through a sign at the end of the level, well I like it..I've noticed that most other reviewers talk about the controls being unresponsive, but I never noticed that. Maybe I was too busy drooling over myself in fanboy glee, but they seemed to work quite well in all honesty. I actually only remember one point I got stuck on and that was because I had to fight with enemies that shove you back with their shields while my back was against a collasped bridge (On that note, Sonic Team you guys are assholes), The last portion is that you get rated at the end of the level, but I'm sure we all are familiar with this by now.

A quick note, the level selection screen is also quite rudimentary, which is too its benefit. You select and area, select a level, select if you want to customize your character before departure, and you go. The only prerequisite to playing the next level is that you beat the previous one. Levels that are unlocked are announced so you don't have to go searching through all the areas either. This is where they kept it simple and I thank them for that.

Lets talk about the final portion, the enemies. I do lie though, because unlike the Twilight, who have a rich and detailed backstory behind them these guys are demonic minions from the underworld that seem to enjoy being evil bastards to Sonic and innocent civilians...That's about all we get to know. Luckily you see a better amount of detail in the types of enemies. As the levels progress, new enemies are presented with simply a small hint blabbered by your sword buddy, short and sweet. These enemies are easily identifiable due to their weapons having a rather bright color scheme compared to the enemies themselves. I believe I counted around ten to twelve different enemy types throughout the game, ranging from your basic sword swinger, to pikemen, to axe swingers, to oversized giants that block your way until you kill them (fucker..). They also supply you with a small variety of long range opponents too, but luckily you can jump over them most the time. While not incredibly exciting you can say that they do keep it interesting.

Boss battles are quite different from the normal fray, most put you on a circular track up against a slower, but usually more powerful boss. Though quite basic, the bosses do require you to learn their movements and attacks before going in. Swinging your sword recklessly will only get you past Shadow...Lancelot. Oh right, you fight the members of the Round Table who are actually Sonic characters with their names changed (clever). I say it's clever because I think we've had enough new characters in this little universe, for now at least. This is also one of the weirdest parts due to, well let me go into more detail. Near the beginning of the game you fight up against Aurthur for the first time. They go through great detail teaching you to swing in time with Arthur to deflect his attack and leave him open for a counter-attack. I go into my first real boss battle with this mindset. I'll go in, wait for the signal, and attack. It never happens though, the only time you ever use this method is when going up against Arthur again, and you only do this one other time! Why would you teach me this mechanic if I'm only going to be using it one other time. I think it would have been better suited to be put at a tutorial right before the final battle with Arthur, but that's just me.

Overall, what can you say about Sonic and The Black Knight? It has the right formula, needs work, but overall it's fun. The pure sensation of speed is there and that is probably what kept me playing to the end. The decent variations of levels, special challenges, and the skip button also play massive points in the games favor. Should you buy it? Not sure, but I do think that this game has gotten a rather unfair stigma attached to it. It's fun, it isn't a technical masterpiece, but it's fun, lets leave it at that. I liked it, that's about all I can say.

Yours truly,
Squeaks

I choose you, Blogasaur!

2009-04-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, well I have finally entered into the realm of blogging. If it wasn't for a shortness of time I'd post something further, but for now I can just say hello!