Monday, April 20, 2009

Trashcans don't = Horseshoes

You know one of my largest pet peeves? The one that probably is the main reason I prefer to stay away from places like pools and parks? Slobs, that's it, slobs. People who can't take the ten foot walk required to throw trash into the proper trashcans! At this point in history it isn't even excusable anymore. Trashcans can be found every 100 feet in most residential areas and every 100 yards everywhere else. Why can't to throw trash away in the bloody trashcan? What's even worse are the people who throw their shit at the trashcan and think because it's close it counts. This isn't horseshoes you scummy son of a bitch!
What causes this sudden burst of anger to arise is simple actually. Yesterday I decided to head to the pool because it was hitting near the 100 degree mark and I figured it I needed to get some sun that wasn't through a quarter inch piece of glass. So I go and for the most part it's quite relaxing. I swim about ten laps from side to side, do a bit of stretching and relaxing in the jacuzzi, all good. After that I decide to rest on one of those nice extending lawn chairs they have. I drift off a bit and when I come back to my senses I realize that I'm almost completely dry and don't feel like getting wet again, so I decide to take a little walk around the pool.
This is when I begin to notice little bits of trash around the pool, no biggy; I pick them up and toss them in the trashcan, fine. Then I go around the eating area and holy mother of pickles. It looks like an entire family of thirty decided to have a full Burger King buffet, complete with alcohol (Do I really need to mention why that's bad? You've all been to a pool right?), and enough limes to permanently dull your sense of taste. The bad part? It was scattered around the trashcan at almost an inch and a half high and probably about two feet in diameter. Being the tree-hugger I am I spent ten minutes, TEN MINUTES picking up every piece of trash and having to actually stack and slip things in to get it to all fit. You see the fundamental problem? I had to clean up someone else's fucking mess because they were too damn lazy to put the trash in the can properly and instead decided to toss it at the can like a bunch of fucken monkeys!
Now I don't mind slobs for the most part, hey if it's your house or your property you can be as much of a pig as you want. When it's a public area though and there is at least a half a dozen trashcans within smelling distance, there is no excuse to be a lazy bastard. I swear these people rank right up there with the dumbfucks who wear their pants at their knees or the people who can't keep their mouth shut if it would save their life. These people are scum, I mean it, I don't care if they're 10 or 90, if they make 3,000 a year or 2,000,000 a year, if you can't pick up after yourself like a proper adult then you need to go back home and watch some Barney tapes! Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do their share you piece of shit! I'm going to go kill a small animal now..I kid..

Edit: For the life of me I can't spell pool right on the first try.

No comments:

Post a Comment